A new (and old) way prepared to begin anew...

In the midst of all of these symbols, syncs, references, etc. that seem to be the current order of things or way of communication, I (finally!) caught a brief spark of an idea in the way that I have really missed this afternoon.  

Whereas these other communication forms seem (to me at least) to still be very loud, not as clear as I would like, somewhat intrusive, and force you to kind of wade through stuff you'd sometimes rather not (e.g., Woodkid videos) in trying to piece together a story or meaning, this other form just kind of sits lightly on my mind.  It's just a whisper, really, a faint flash that is both unmistakable but almost indiscernible at the same time.  It's hard to describe, but I recognize it by what happens afterward - the idea just kind of builds and grows, and suddenly you now see something in a different way.  Something just clicks, and it just kind of happened.

Not that this means that I either heard it right, or that the thought itself that grows afterward is completely right (my guess is that it isn't, as all forms of communication are subject to some interpretation)... or even that this doesn't wholly come from within my own mind, but it just is different.  I've missed it lately amid the noise, and so even if completely wrong, I don't mind writing about it because it just reminds me of 'home', in a way that seems familiar.

And not that these other forms of communication are bad, either, it's just it feels more foreign to me, which is perhaps more on me than anything.  Who knows.

I am actually not going to get into where the thought takes me until my next post (hopefully tomorrow depending on my schedule), but as an introduction I will leave below a short poem/ writing that I did almost two years ago in January 2022.  Some of this was brought to mind as part of this spark in my mind, and will serve to set up what began building in my mind this afternoon.

In terms of context, in January 2022 I was really doing pretty well.  I would still be under psychiatric care until later that summer, but I was no longer seeing a therapist and life was pretty good.  On January 17, however, I began to get a few more Elvish words like I had used to.  These would be the same words, or at least some of them, that I shared in my post "Jan-Feb 2022 Words Part 1:  A hidden plan revealed".  It actually looks like I said in that post that I would share this in a separate post, so I guess good thing I am doing so now.

My first reaction to that development was more "Oh, crap" than anything, and so I was already a bit on edge.  As additional context for what is contained in the writing, I had also just recently watched the latest Matrix film which had come out the month earlier, and I admit I had some anxiety watching it.  Some of my old feelings and struggles about what is real vs. not real came back, and I found myself needing to kind of process all of this.

In the course of that, on January 24, I sat at my youngest son's hockey practice, and I just got a sense to write a few things out about how I felt.  It wasn't a compulsive feeling, but more of just write and see how you feel kind of thing.  So I began to write, and started out in very much my own thinking and confusion.  With the line "Escaping a matrix?", however, the feeling shifted to once again that good feeling of a gentle hand just kind of helping out with my thoughts and pen... a bit of a co-writer, not taking over things, but just kind of sitting there with me while I worked a few things out.  I felt better after writing it, and ended up being just fine with more Elvish words as they continued to come into February.  It was at this point, I think, that I knew I was going to be OK no matter what happened.

So, here that bit of writing is, and I will spend a future post or two tying this into my thought-spark from today.

January 24, 2022

What would they, it, whatever
even say that would change my mind?

To make me think and see a new thing

to dissolve and wash away the doubt and fear

- of what?

That there is no purpose, no meaning

or that whatever purpose would be proposed

would not be enough (or too much)

And thus, in the end, no rescue

for either there is no one to do the rescuing

or nothing (no-thing) to be rescued to

Escaping a matrix?

That is a tired storyline, built by those

who know not the way

But even in storylines false and confounded

are kernels of truth that if found and planted apart

can lead to a better course

and crack a door

to a larger world

Reality is where we are

but we have forgotten what makes it real

and by who made

and so lost, in reality unreal,

stumble

looking for escape 

a hatch to leave

this the ultimate un-reality (in thought)

to a forgetting of this thing:

this, here, is our home

Made so and blessed by kinder rulers

than those who currently over-see

for our benefit

A place so blessed

that heaven itself will come down to join with

Rulers again established

A new (and old) way prepared

to begin anew

in lands finally made clean

The mysterious made now not so

But knowledge and happiness carried in hearts many

where sadness seemingly intractable once reigned

Not beyond one's imagination (if you think on it!)

But natural and real

Love as the light

- the perfect light - 

because it is shared

The light of others shines upon our path

as ours shines on theirs

throwing there-by in the sharing

a creation without decay

Upheld not by force nor will

But uncompulsory in its unrolling

- in our unrolling - 

to futures not wholly known or fated

(Being now made free)

But in knowing again this:

that it will be good

Understanding from experience hard-earned

that where the light shines

darkness cannot stand

This light now being made manifest in us

Never to be again overcome

Children of Christ

His family eternal, bonds unbreaking

Happiness abounding

Men in Black

So, a week or two ago I got the urge to watch the movie Men in Black.  I guess with these various 'alien' themes coming up, it popped into my head.

I believe I watched all the Men in Black movies when they came out many years ago.  I usually remember the general plot of everything I have seen, but for MIB I couldn't really remember anything besides Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and the fact you had aliens running around disguised as people.

So, I watched it and had a good time as it kind of felt like I was seeing it again for the first time given how much I had forgotten.

I thought about this yesterday as two different 'men in black' came up yesterday (actually kind of 3 if you count the Fall Out Boy reference).

I had posted the link of the Battle of Wits between Westley and Vizzini, where Westley is the man dressed in black.  Indigo (the Spaniard that Westley defeated) even calls him the 'man in black' several times in his search to find him.  Here is one:

The second man in black (or at least referenced as black), was Sirius Black, brought up by William Tychonievich in his post "Giraffe on the Big, Fat Planet".  Here, Sirius is mentioned in relation to the actual star Sirius.  I left some comments there which I may pull into a comment here just to document them as the Toys R Us logo, in particular, seemed to have some meaning one could read into things.

Third, I had mentioned in conclusion of the Battle of Wits post, that Fall Out Boy had sung the line "The war was won before it's begun", demonstrating that like the game Westley set out for Vizzini, this 'game' on Earth between Good and Evil was similarly set up.  That line comes from the song "The Phoenix", and as part of that verse, the singers say "Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks" in the context of bank robbers.

Anyway, just interesting - I will hold off on my usual tendency to create more narratives from all of this, and just conclude with Will Smith's catchy tune:

Actually, one interesting thing I noticed as I was posting this.  The video starts with an image of, from what I can tell, is a refrigerator.

In my words on April 22 which included the "Good times to roll!" phrase said in time immediately after Asenath's victory over the Balrog and return home (see this post for the complete context), an interesting sequence involving an alien-looking Being and a refrigerator was played for me.

In the sequence, a woman said (while laughing in a nice way - the whole sequence of words was like an excited party... hard to describe) "Beware this one!".  As this was said, I saw a cloaked figure standing in front of a refrigerator holding the door open.  The room was dark, so I couldn't make much else out.  Suddenly, someone turned the light on, and it was as if the cloaked figure was caught in the act of trying to sneak something out of the refrigerator.  Everyone started laughing even more, and I could see a profile of the figure's face now as it turned to the side.  It was a non-human face, with a long beak-like nose (something perhaps like one of the Skeksis from the Dark Crystal, but not exactly).

Following this scene, the next immediate thing someone said was "When I dream, I dream about books!"

A battle of wits

"But behold, the life of my servant shall be in my hand; therefore they shall not hurt him, although he shall be marred because of them. Yet I will heal him, for I will show unto them that my wisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil."

-- 3 Nephi 21:10

At Bountiful, in discussing a latter day work that, in my opinion, has not yet commenced, Jesus mentions both a servant, as well as an interesting statement about himself and the devil.

In essence, Jesus seems to set the stage for this work as a battle of wits, and that ultimately his wisdom will prove greater than any cunning or schemes of the devil.  Basically, the devil will find he is outmatched.  My own view is that we are pretty lucky to live in a universe where the Being who represents ultimate Goodness, is also the most intelligent and wisest.  Our circumstances and future outlook would be very different if this wasn't the case.

We have already identified Saruman as a Being likely associated with the Devil mentioned - A Wizard of skill, cunning, and power.  How he relates to Melkor (seemingly the original Devil?), Sauron, and other fallen but powerful Beings is not fully clear in my mind, nor necessarily which of these Devils Jesus is referring to.  In some ways it doesn't matter - Jesus is smarter than all of them, no matter how smart they think they are, or who is specifically being referenced.

I was reminded of this statement by Jesus at Bountiful, actually, as I thought of another 'battle of wits':  The poison-drinking challenge between Westley and Vizzini from the movie The Princess Bride.

Here is the clip (its a great scene):

Here, you have a mysterious masked man clad in black taking on a shorter, bald man (there is the bald thing again!) whose name and meaning is definitely known to a battle of wits.  The participants must drink from cups placed before them (filled with wine in this case).

Vizzini is from Sicily, as he says himself.  Sicily is, of course, famous for the Sicilian Mafia (not to be confused with the Russian mafia).  This brings me back to a funny memory.  When I went with my dad to get my Patriarchal Blessing from our Stake Patriarch as a teenager, the Patriarch reviewed my paperwork quickly before conducting the blessing.  He noted that there was likely an error, as it said I was born in Cosa Nostra county.  Cosa Nostra is the name for the Sicilian Mafia.  I was born in the East Bay of San Francisco, CA, which is the Contra Costa county.  A strange mix up, and he laughed about me being part of the mafia, and then corrected the name to the correct county.

I don't think the fact that Vizzini is from Sicily is irrelevant to the scene here.  I believe in our own reality we are dealing with secret combinations and organized crime of a spiritual nature that extends to very high places, indeed.

He also considers himself to be the smartest person in history, essentially, which becomes his downfall.  With all of his brains, he doesn't consider that the game is already stacked against him - in fact, it is unwinnable.  Just by agreeing to play, he has lost.

Think of William Tychonievich's commentary on Tim in this post where he indicates both a game is being played, and that Tim is 'very smart', but hates sports (that post link here).  Why?  Because he is bad at them.  In fact, William further links to an older post where he included a Dr. Seuss picture with the caption "Mr. Fox!  I hate this game, sir."

Why does Tim-Vizzini-Saruman lose the games?  Because he gets outfoxed.  Despite all of his self-proclaimed smarts and cunning, he loses, and this is because the game has been rigged as to be unwinnable for Evil - in the end, at least.

The better choice for Vizzini would be not to play, and to hand over what he has "rightfully stolen".  But he is so sure and smug in his own intelligence, that he can't resist the game.  He is caught in a trap, and he lost the moment he entered.

Vizzini actually does, if you pay attention, guess correctly what Westley's intention or plan for winning the game is.  Westley will rely on his strength, in a very real way.  He has built up an immunity to iocane powder, we find out, and he is counting on that immunity that he has built up over the preceding few years to see keep him alive through the encounter.

Meaning this:  That Westley has placed himself in the same peril as Vizzini - they will both drink the same wine and poison from a cup, but Westley has built up the strength to not die from the encounter, whereas Vizzini obviously has not.  It is beyond Vizzini's comprehension that Westley would willingly poison himself, and further that it is even possible for a Being to acquire such strength and immunity.  I am also reminded here of Moroni's commentary about drinking deadly drinks in Mormon 9 (which also includes the reference to snakes):

And these signs shall follow them that believe—in my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover;

In Vizzini's overconfidence in his intelligence, I also hear echoes of Tim's encounter with William, laying out all sorts of complicated strategies and reasons.  From William's description (post link here):

The main thrust of the lecture was that he and his colleagues were engaged in directing my attention -- the words directing your attention were displayed in English, in very large white italics -- and that this was an extremely complex and delicate operation. Its complexity was illustrated by means of a dizzyingly complicated multidimensional diagram that kept moving and changing and reassembling itself. Each attentional decision -- whether a choice of my own or a successful nudge from them -- opened up new attentional pathways and closed off others, and so the whole thing had to be played like chess, thinking several moves in advance and taking into account various contingencies. The purpose of any particular move might not become apparent until many, many moves later.

This strikes me as, in some ways, how Vizzini would think and act.  Complex chess-like moves will win the day.  Whereas, I think the Good Guys are more of the Westley variety.  The preparation and strength have already been put in place, and the game has been set - there isn't anything that can be done about it now.  And what is that preparation?  The Stone, of course!  Prepared from the foundation of the world, and I believe that it was Eru-Jesus' wisdom in that time before time, even, that led to the events surrounding the creation of that Stone.  Which is why, perhaps, he was able to speak so confidently to those at Bountiful that no amount of cunning on the devil's part could overcome his own wisdom.

As Fall Out Boy once said "The war was won before it's begun".

Also, for those keeping score of potential elvish words and names popping up, lets take Iocane Powder, which doesn't appear to be either an actual thing, or even a real English word.  It is (apparently) made up just for this movie scene.  So, lets have some fun with it.  I have broken up Iocane into "Io" and "Cane".  Looking at Eldamo, we get:

Io = Wine

Cane = "Kan" = Dare

As you can see, for Cane I found the closest thing I could as the elvish word of "Kan".  Kan can mean several things, but one of them is, interestingly enough, Dare.  You also have Valour, Rule, Power, etc., which could all work here also, but I liked dare the most since it fit so well.

With this definition, you have Iocane Powder literally meaning "Wine Dare Powder", which is exactly how Westley used it - as part of a wine dare.

Keep Me Crazy

 In the opening scenes of this music video by a band called Sheppard (an Australian group), they look up into the sky and see two shapes in the clouds - first a Giraffe, and then a Rabbit.  A ladder then appears and they climb up above the clouds.

Rooting for Anti-Heroes (Taylor's Version) AND WW=Walter White?

Anti-Heroes

The notion or seed for the Walter White / Anti-Hero thought shared yesterday actually came a couple weeks ago.  At that time, Walter White was only a tangential thought or example of an anti-hero, in that I hadn't yet made the connection directly between him and Saruman through fun name games... that only happened yesterday.

But the thought of anti-heroes, and associating Saruman as one of them, came while on a run.  I had Spotify on DJ setting, which is kind of entertaining because who knows what will come up and Taylor Swift's song "Anti-Hero" came on.  

Now, I haven't been living under a rock, and at least here in the US, Taylor Swift's songs are inescapable.   I have heard and listened to Anti-Hero many times, both the original version as well as several remixes that have been on the air.  I actually find the song pretty catchy, and I like it, though I think I used to like it better before it became a bit overplayed.

In any case, I decided it would be a good one to keep running to (in DJ mode I find myself flipping through a lot of songs before landing on something).

So, again, I've listened to this song many times, but in this instance, I began hearing it almost for the first time as a fairly pervasive thought came into my head that if Saruman had a theme song, perhaps this would be it.  The thought started from the very title itself "Anti-Hero" as a good description for this Being.

The thought kind of caught me off guard, but I began listening to the lyrics and decided that there just might be something to it.

There are a bunch of references that you can listen to for yourself if you are so inclined.  At the time, it seemed interesting that you have the speaker basically introducing themselves and admitting that they are the problem, which sounded a bit like recent events with Saruman ("It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me...").  I even felt that the chorus line "it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero" must have a different meaning, and I made a note to look up 'rooting' to see what else I could find when I got home.  I served an LDS mission in Australia, and was aware that rooting could be a slang word that means something very different, indeed (I had some good laughs with friends there at the American baseball song that includes the lyrics "It's root, root, root for the Home Team!") but wanted to see if there was anything else.  It turns out that there is, but more on that in a second.

I was lost in my thoughts along these lines as I was listening to the song, and then I heard the sound that literally made me jump and stop running for a second.  Toward the end of the song as Swift keeps repeating that she is the problem, she repeats that everyone agrees twice, and at the end of the second time she ends up holding the 's' on agrees for a good 2-3 seconds and it sounds exactly like a snake hissing.  I mean, it is clearly intentional, at least as I hear it now, where the word 'agrees' transitions into a snake hissing.  Again, I had listened to this song many times before, and had never noticed this, and as I just mentioned, it shocked me so much that I stopped running and immediately replayed that part to make sure I had heard that right (vs. just imagining it since my thoughts had been on Saruman so much as I listened to this song).

Now that I have heard it, I can't unhear it.  It is a snake.

This was interesting to me because recently some references to Moses 4 (in the LDS Pearl of Great Price) came up.  In that chapter, we get one version of the tale of Adam and Eve's fall, which includes the snake.  The snake actually becomes the voice of Satan.

As I will bring up again shortly, the phrase that is the basis for my blog can be found in this chapter (the Coats of Skins that were made from Adam and Eve following their Fall).

So, equating a snake with Saruman was already top of mind, and it was a bit surreal to have thoughts about Saruman going through me head while listening to Anti-Hero, and having Taylor Swift's voice transform into that of a snake.

Later that day, I did look up 'rooting' to see what I could find.   On Etymonline.com, I found additional meanings include:

"dig with the snout," 1530s, wroot, of swine, from Middle English wroten "dig with the snout," from Old English wrotan "to root up," from Proto-Germanic *wrot- (source also of Old Norse rota, Swedish rota "to dig out, root," Middle Low German wroten, Middle Dutch wroeten, Old High German ruozian "to plow up"), from PIE root *wrod- "to root, gnaw."

Altered by association with root (v.3), as if "to dig up by the roots." Extended sense of "poke about, pry" is recorded by 1831. The picturesque phrase root hog or die "work or fail" first attested 1834, American English (in works of Davy Crockett, who noted it as an "old saying").

OK, so we have this notion of digging, plowing, rooting up, and working, which I should have thought of before looking up, but didn't.  We actually raise a couple pigs every year, so I had a pretty good image in my mind about what a pig digging and plowing entails.  In fact, people who raise their pigs on pasture, as we do, are familiar with the fact that where you put your pigs will result in a pretty torn up pasture.  People actually, in theory, put their pigs on pasture to till it up.  I have tried this (kind of) but its an uneven job, and you have to go through with a rototiller, anyway.  

But, the point is that rooting, as meant here, results in soil that has been dug and plowed, specifically by an animal (a pig).

I will bring back in Moses 4 here quickly to remind readers that part of the mythology of the Fall is that Adam and Even were cast out of the Garden of Eden and made to work and to till the Earth by the sweat of their brow - just like my pigs do.  In fact, in my story, Men had, after their Fall and Death, been reborn into bodies that were more animal-like than not, this being the very basis for my blog title around Coats of Skins.

We are Heavenly Beings wrapped and clad in the bodies of Men-Animals, this being the case because of Satan himself.

Which brings me to what Taylor Swift is really singing about in that specific phrase.  I will show her original lyrics, and I will then show the 'translated' or modified version using alternative definitions for the same words she uses.  Meaning, I am not changing any words here, nor applying any meanings that aren't already accepted for each of those words.

Taylor's Version:

"It must be exhausting always rooting for the Anti-Hero"

My Version:

"It must be exhausting always tilling/plowing because of the Anti-Hero"

You'll notice that I changed "for" to "because", which is one of the ways that for used to be used, though less common in these days (from Etymonline:  "because, since, for the reason that...").  You don't have to change it though, and in fact 'for' could be a double meaning.  We till and plow both because of the Anti-Hero, and for him, as in, on his behalf, perhaps.

And thus we see the real reason why it must be so exhausting... because we are working and tilling, not cheering, and it is all for and because of the Anti-Hero.

Anyway, here is the song.  Snake hiss happens at around the 2:50 mark:

WW=Walter White?

What struck me after making the connection between Saruman and Walter White, is that Walter White shares my same initials:  WW.

This was a bit disconcerting to someone like myself who has recently taken some stock in names.  I actually watched the Breaking Bad series several years ago, and even distinctly remembered a part where Walt's brother-in-law had a brief flash of inspiration in looking through evidence with Walter and finding the initials W.W. and wondering who they referred to.  It is an interesting clip:

For reasons that seemed clear to me (but maybe not?), I retained the WW initials next to my name in parentheses for my Blogger profile name.  They are the the duplicative/ unnecessary carryover of when I just called myself WW online.

In my first iteration of a blog back in 2018-2019, I used my regular name - Bill Wright.  Even though I was writing about some strange stuff, I felt no issue with owning it and putting my real name next to it.  I really believed what I was writing about.

Fast forward to 2023, and I began posting comments on a few blogs as I kind of 're-entered' this space after some fairly significant trauma.  Part of that trauma involved how my family responded to my words, dreams, and everything around it.  I used WW because I still wanted to put my identity on it, but I was also worried if someone did an online search or something and saw things that included my name, it wouldn't go very well.

So, I used WW, even when invited to do a guest post for Bruce Charlton's Notion Club Papers blog, I kept that name (a post on Orcs, no less, which are strongly tied or associated with Saruman - that post is here).  In my correspondence with Bruce in sending over the post for him to publish, I used my real name and told him I didn't mind if he knew it, but just didn't want it known publicly.  What I left unsaid, but am saying now, is that I just didn't want certain people to know and be hurt by it.  Maybe that was a sign I shouldn't have gotten back into writing, and in fact I hesitated for quite awhile getting that post back to Bruce because I didn't know if it was the right thing to do.

In any case, after then starting this blog, I ended up feeling like I should just use my real name on this regardless, but since I had already used WW, I decided I would use my full, real nam to coincide with those initials.  Whereas blog 1.0 was Bill's blog, version 2.0 would be William's.  I left the WW in parentheses, I think as a callout or reminder that I commented and wrote a post under that name.

And there it still sits, completely unnecessary, I think, except that it just now, since yesterday, reminds me of Walter White.

Back in 2020 and 2021, having this thought about Saruman and Walter White, and the fact that my name is also a WW would have put me into existential terror mode.  It would have shattered me.  I would have immediately jumped the narrative ladder of inference and concluded that this all meant that I was, in fact, Saruman, or at least allied with him.  Everything would have made sense, and the more I would have thought about it, the more anxiety and terror this thought produced, then the more evidence I would have found to support this supposedly undeniable link and conclusion.

So, it is interesting for me to write about this now and to take a moment to recognize just how far I have come.  I am stronger now than I give myself credit for, and I can hold a thought like this and even ask myself the question ("Could this mean I am Saruman?"), and have a bit of a laugh at it.

And I laugh at it not because I absolutely know it is wrong (I don't - I actually don't give it a 0% chance), but more about just how absurd this whole thing is, and as I think about it more, how ridiculous the thought also likely is.  There are plenty of other things that make more sense - other narratives that include this whole thing (all of this, Stone and all) just being concocted in my head.  In the end, I just don't know, and that has turned out to be OK for me for now.  

So, I don't know.  The WW, I think, I will leave as a reminder that I might have a co-author here who could subtly influence my thoughts in ways I would rather not if I was aware of them, and so not to take myself or anything I write too seriously.  That being said, it doesn't mean I have to remain in perfect silence, either.

"Breaking Bald" and Omuruc

 

There is something with this theme or likeness of baldness...

Walter White was the main "anti-hero" protagonist of the Breaking Bad series.  One thing many watchers of the series realized after awhile was that it seemed literally every male character was bald or almost bald, thus the spoof name "Breaking Bald".

This Walter White has a tie-in with our friend Saruman, I think.  For example, they both share the same last 'name' of White, or at least Saruman's title or name before it was taken from him.

Interestingly, their first names are related as well.  In making this connection, I will actually go to Saruman's 'real' or Elvish first name of Curumo or Curunir.  The 'Curu' is typically translated as "skill or cunning" in the case of Saruman to align with the Old English definition of that name.

But "Curu" or "Kur" has a broader meaning.  Here is from Eldamo for "Curu-":

have power, strength, ability inherent physically or mentally; skill

So, there is the power or strength component to the name, also, in addition to skill or cunning.  It also has the meaning of "Wizardry, Magic" when looking it up under "Kuru".  In thinking of power or strength, compare this to the breakdown of Walter, which apparently is Germanic, and comprised of Walt/Wald and Hari:

Walt/Wald:  Power, Ruler

hari:    Army

So, from this, Walter is said to mean something like "Army Commander", but could also be more literal like Power Army, Army Power, etc.  So, right off, we can see that the first elements of these names - Curu and Wald are somewhat similar in meaning.

If one has read William Tychonievich's blog recently, he had a run-in with a being that I believe to be Saruman (or a Being portraying himself as such), who William specifically described seeming to be in the military in this post:

The speaker was a slim white man who looked to be in his fifties, neatly dressed in smart blue clothing, with very short white hair and a demeanor that gave the impression of high-ranking military brass, though I don't think his clothing was a uniform. It was just a sweater and slacks, I think, but still came across as "very smart." He spoke extremely quickly but with extremely clear enunciation, as if his delivery were precisely calculated to deliver the maximum amount of information as efficiently as possible.

Saruman in the Lord of the Rings was also the leader of an army:  the Orcs he bred that became known as the Uruk-hai.  This was the army that attacked the people of Rohan, with the pivotal battle occurring at Helm's Deep (as told in The Two Towers).

More fun with names has another tie-in to another bald character William brought up from the Superman comics:  Mr. Mxyzptlk.  He introduced that character in this post (where he also introduced this concept of 'likeness').

I had never heard of this character before, and in looking him up, it turns out his weakness (in his original version) is if you get him to say his name backwards he is forced back to the world or dimension he came from.

I had the idea to try this out, figuratively, with Saruman - let's turn his name backwards, and see what we find.  

Saruman wasn't really interesting, but that isn't his real name anyway.  Interestingly, Mr. Mxyzptlk ran into this issue with Superman in saying Superman's name backwards in an effort to turn the table on him and send Superman to the other world.  Superman isn't Superman's real name, so it didn't work, of course.

Using Curumo instead, however, proved very interesting (and so much for me resisting temptation in looking into all of this...)!

Backwards, we get "Omuruc".  I then broke this down simply into Om and Uruc.  With Om we get "voice or sound" in Elvish (and other things from Yoga and meditation practices, I suppose...).  Seems directly relevant to good old Saruman.

Uruc, if you can tell, is literally the type of Orc I just mentioned... the Uruc or Uruk (hai) who comprised Saruman's army (c and k are pronounced the same in Elvish languages).

So, this actually comes together quite nicely.  The source of Saruman's power is his voice, so much so that Tolkien dedicated an entire chapter heading to "The Voice of Saruman" (which, again, I would iterate is required reading, in my view).  If we substitute power for voice, since for Saruman they are the same, and Uruk for Army, since that is what Saruman's army was comprised of (in addition to some Men), we literally get the same definition or meaning as Walter.

Therefore, if you followed that, Saruman = Curumo = Omuruc = Om-Uruk = Power Army = Walter.  Like a math proof, and some creative license or magic, we have Saruman the White = Walter White, in both name and likely others things also.

Neat, huh?

Burn

Ellie can be short for Eleanor (Elanor), which is relevant to the song and video, I think.  I have also decided that posting a music video with 1-2 sentences of intro is fine, for whatever reason.  Someone else, regardless of who and where they got them from,  has already assembled some words and symbols, and people can see what they want (i.e., waiting is tough).

The Devil will not support his children, and "Voice of Saruman" as required reading

 A second post for today because it is on my mind.

So, a source I believe I trust (but again, can't be sure) has indicated that Saruman (the old zombie) is definitely not on the good side.  Seemed pretty clear, and as I have thought on it since, nothing changes my mind on this.  The story seems pretty iron-clad, if you know what I mean.

WJT left a comment in my earlier post indicating that the wording I used in wondering whether Saruman-Tim was actually on the same side as Good was very similar to the phrase from Tim himself in the book "The Key".  Really interesting, and I replied that then the issue is to determine whether you believe him.

I've decided that WJT's great observation actually further suggests there is a problem here.  I can almost hear the Voice of Saruman coming through my keys (the keyboard, kind) as I look back on that phrase I typed, his voice planting that seed about his potential good intentions - to give him a chance.

I don't think I can trust what I type anymore, with respect to this stuff, if I am literally typing that.

It shouldn't be surprising, I guess.  My words ended up getting corrupted in 2019 to 2020.   Same thing happened in my writing.  And now on this blog, I find myself going through a bit of the same experience.  Oh well.  That is how it goes.

What really had me thinking a bit earlier, though, is what about all the 'true' stuff.  I can point to specific dreams and words I would now, most likely, attribute to this Being, and some of them calling out the very Beings who you'd think are on his team.  I was trying to wrap my head around that, and was a bit confused.

I remembered, though, that evil and Saruman has no team.  They would sell anyone they know down the river if they were trying to save their skin.  I think that is what is happening, honestly.  Want to know my name?  Sure.  Want to know some interesting stuff?  I have some things to share, and they really are true, by the way.  Can you I help you out with anything and show my loyalty?  I can do that.  Can I let you know about other bad guys and their crimes?  I have a list of names.

Does the fact that he is willing to do these things mean he is 'good'?  No way.  He is just trying to save his own skin.  Evil has no team and no loyalty.  Saruman will sell his own children, his own creations as it were, if he thought he could come out of it on top.  Saruman is looking out for Saruman.  The scheming never ends, I don't think.

And I think we would have a very Disney-ish view of evil if we expect the devil (i.e., Saruman) to be upfront about his intentions.  

In the end, the story won't be complicated, I don't think (at least that is what my gut tells me).  My guess is only those with questionable motives in this greater game are intent on convincing souls on how complicated the game is, to further justify us letting them hang around us.  Need a guide?  I am sure Saruman would love to tell us how difficult and complex the road is and how following him - whatever that means - is necessary.  Again, ask how that worked out for Lehi, whether it was Laban-Omar, Saruman, or whoever he followed out into the darkness.

I've decided that the "Voice of Saruman" chapter in LOTR should be required reading for any person that may wonder whether a Saruman-type Being is in their own mind, or just to get a sense for how evil really operates.  Seriously.  You will get a feel for the sweet, melodious, and 'good' voice that he employs, and the mind tricks and power that he has.  It is quite remarkable, and we are quick to judge those, perhaps, who have listened to it.

Gandalf himself fell under that sway for a time, and he found himself imprisoned as a result.  When they met again, and it was Saruman who was imprisoned in Orthanc, Gandalf rebuked Saruman's invitation to come up to the tower and discuss things with him.  In doing so, he said:

I keep a clearer memory of your arguments, and deeds, than you suppose.  When last I visited you, you were the jailor of Mordor, and there I was to be sent.  Nay, the guest who has escaped from the roof, will think twice before he comes back in by the door.

I was surprised to realize that my experience had been similar.  I was locked in my own mind by that Being for quite some time, if you believe that version of the story.  I don't easily forget, and I am not going to willingly step into that again!  

I can't tell for sure if my own thoughts and therefore what I write is good or bad.  Meaning, not that the content itself is 'bad' (it seems some of it, at least, is likely true!), but whether the Beings who share at least part of it ought to be listened to.  That then could potentially come out in my writing, and I have enough evidence to suggest that I may be hurting rather than helping in some regard.

So, I have been dancing around it - indecisive as usual.  I tried deleting my blog temporarily for a day on Sunday, but then decided that this wasn't the way to go, either, after thinking on it.

I am going to leave this up, but am going to stop writing, since I can't fully trust my mind or fingers.  There are enough interesting connections, events, and thoughts by those who have either linked to and/or built on these thoughts in their own blogs, or taken the time to leave a comment here.  

Azilio, Zombies, and Holy Places

 OK, so actually relatively busy morning with thoughts.

Alizio vs. Azilio

I noticed in my previous post that I had misplaced the l and z in the name of William Alizio, from William Tychonievich's story, spelling it rather "Azilio".  I noticed it this morning, and thought I would look into it.  I had gone through the exercise of seeing if the original "Alizio" was an Elvish word hiding a couple days ago(I tend to check names in stories this way now after a few past promising results), and it seemed like it might be, but wasn't sure.  However, now spelled as "Azilio" I was almost positive this looked like an Elvish word.

My first search in Eldamo didn't really provide me with much, but I did go to a Kindle version of the "Words of the Faithful" that is still there (I had burned the physical copy), and found that word exactly two times spelled like that.

In both instances, the word is given in context of a place.  The first time a 'meeting place' is discussed between Izilba (Eowyn-Ilmare) and another woman, via stone communication.  The second time is likewise between these same two women, and now references Eressea specifically.  In both instances, people are referred to as being gathered, drawn to, or headed to these places, and the communication about this is via a crystal or stone.

I don't know the exact interpretation of "Azilio" specifically, and suspect the full meaning(s) might not be fully known by the translator either, so will leave it at that for now - that it was in the context of places and people going toward them.

Tun against old zombie

In addition to having the Azilio/ Alizio swap investigation, I woke up with a very curious phrase on my mind.  "Tun against old zombie" was the phrase, it was partly thought and partly visual, because I knew the spelling of 'tun' was without an 'e', even though I knew or 'heard' it pronounced like 'tune', as for a song.

I looked up 'tun' on Eldamo, and realized I probably should have already known what it meant.  Tun is another form of the name for Hill City, or Tuna, the city of the High Elves who live in Valinor/ Aman.  I referenced this place in my "Gordon Kor" post, where I noticed that Kor is also another name for Tuna/Tun (see that post here)

So, interesting so far.  

Tun/ Kor is also one of the two places that I have identified as Holy Places, to which people will be gathered and not be moved.  The other is Asenath's home, just off Eressea (a place that she possibly calls 'little Eressea').  These are the Two Towers of Good perhaps, or will be, in contrast to Saruman's and Sauron's Two Towers of Evil.  Whereas evil beings gathered to and were sent from those towers in an earlier age, I view the opposite happening in a future time, where good Beings are gathered to one of these two towers/forts/refuges, and then later sent out from them in victory.

So, we have a slight tie in with the Azilio transposing error, in which gathering places are mentioned in conjunction with the word azilio, and 'Tun' is a place that, in my current understanding, is one of the future gathering places.  Both the error and the phrase were realized and heard in the same morning.

But what about 'old zombie'?

This gets interesting, as I think there are at least two layers of meaning here.  The first seems pretty straightforward, and is actually a direct (as direct as these seem to be) answer to a question that has been on my mind since the emergence of Saruman in my topics here, and of Tim in William Tychonievich's writings.  The second is a bit more fuzzy to me, but there seems to be enough there to mention a few things.  I just can't promise to package it up in a neat story.

So, the first thing.

Zombies of today's definition are portrayed as basically re-animated corpses - the walking dead, essentially.  This was not always so, and a brief look at earlier uses of the word on Etymonline yielded this:

also zombi, jumbie, 1788, possibly representing two separate words, one relating to the dead and the other to authority figures, but if so historically these were not kept distinct in English-speaking usage. The oldest attested sense in English is "'spirits of dead wicked men [...] that torment the living.'" The sense of "reanimated corpse" is by 1929 (Seabrook).

OK, so at some time in the past, the most common usage of zombie was the about evil spirits who torment the living.  I tend to go with the more archaic usage of words in many of these research attempts, because for some reason those definition tend to turn out to be what was meant by whoever dropped the phrase into my mind.  Don't ask me why.  

In this case, then, we have 'old zombie' simply refer to an old evil spirit that torments the living.  Based on my own experience, this sounds about right for Saruman.  Pretty clear definition.

This is important, because in the last couple days I have been debating on storylines for Saruman.  If it does turn out that Tim is Saruman (we don't know this for sure, but even William seems to think, based on his experiences, it is not necessarily unlikely), then I was confused about a few things.  Why did he show up in blue - how was that possible?  I remembered that Gandalf had stripped him of all color, so why is he now showing up in blue, if there is any significance.

I remembered that my friend/ words-partners had told me that Saruman had a path to redemption, and a way to get back to Eressea, that started with leaving my mind alone and releasing me from whatever mind-lock was going on.  I then wondered if maybe there was something to it - that Saruman was now acting on behalf of the Good Guys, or at least not actively working against them.

So, I started working out storylines with this possibility.  However, this seems to fly in the face of the imagery I used to illustrate story elements from the "Iron" video from Woodkid.  The character in that video, who I analogize as Saruman, was definitely not good, and seemed to meet a fiery end (off camera).  How does that fit in?  So, as late as last night, I was working through this and exploring a way that Saruman is actually working on behalf of good or at least aligning interests.  It became the dominating question in my mind - how do I think of Saruman?

I think the phrase this morning was meant to answer that.  Tun (both the place and the people there, which I believe include Eowyn-Ilmare) are against the old zombie that is Saruman.  So, I am not going to waste any more time coming up with a redemptive story for him.  If Heaven itself is against Saruman, then that is what I will be also.  

Simple, and I feel some sort of relief at not having to figure it out.  I am not sure what that means for 'syncs'. tie-ins, connections, etc., and how to treat that, however, but I actually am not sure it is important to figure out.  I just need to know that I don't need to listen to Saruman and he is a liar.  In fact, when he appeared to William and took credit for 'drawing' his attention toward things, it may well be that he is lying.  We can't trust anything he says.  That ability might be beyond his power, and he can only try to falsely claim credit for it.  It's a possibility, at least.  In that story, then, my callout on the fingerprints of Saruman may not be correct, and I am only repeating the lie through my writing.  I heard of Tim's appearance, believed what he said, looked through my words to find evidence for his lie, and of course found it.  But it might not be so, and Tim and the messages he is trying to take credit for are two completely different things.  Or, that everything is confounded with Tim, and there isn't one clear way to get past that (this seems the likeliest to me, honestly).

Which brings me to his Blue Clothing.  That might be a lie, also.  I sort of assumed that he couldn't appear in a color that he didn't have, but then I remembered that Joseph recounted how the devil (Saruman) appeared to him as an angel of light before Michael let Joseph know what was up.  If he could appear like that, then I think donning some blue clothing or appearance to try and make him seem like something he is not would be a simple thing.

In summary, I have resolved that Saruman is not good, but am unsure, in practice, what that means in terms of where and how he is involved, though this might be answered in the second clue about Zombie, which I found by wondering why use the word 'zombie' in the phrase?  Seems overly complicated or clunky if there isn't another reason to include it.

"Zombie" is also the name of a well known song by the Cranberries.  It was written during The Troubles (this is an interesting tie that I will cover in just a second) as an anti-terrorism song in response to the deaths of two children by an IRA bomb.

I have never actually liked this song going back to my high school days, because the 'zombie' chorus just sounds like nails on a chalkboard in my head - perhaps that was the desired effect, though.  In any case, that chorus goes:

In your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie
What's in your head, in your head?
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie, oh

So, what is in our heads?  A zombie.  What zombie?  Saruman.

This fits with the point I made in referring to the LDS temple drama where Adam and Eve are never able to be rid of Satan.  They pray, he is there.  They walk around, he is there.  They just linger (another Cranberries song, I realized, as I typed that), and he is there.  Inescapable.  That is, until True Messengers show up and finally dismiss him.

I believe what makes this Being inescapable in our current condition, is exactly what that song chorus says - he is in our heads, more or less to some extent.  And by 'he' I guess this could mean the Being himself or those who work with him.

It's funny - I was so concerned about Omar-Brigham, that I took my eye off of Saruman in this tale, and that was probably an oversight, I guess.  Maybe even an oversight brought on by Saruman.

So, the depressing fact is that we won't be completely rid of this Being - Satan - not totally at least.  Maybe that is why he doesn't mind being identified.  He isn't going anywhere.

But the good news is that the Good Guys haven't left us either, and until a Stone shows up that cuts through all of the lies and darkness, there must be ways to still listen to them and hear their voices, either clearly on their own at rare times or likely filtered through the darkness surrounding our world, including the mind of Saruman.

Anyway, that got a bit dark.  I am sorry.  I actually don't feel hopeless writing that - rather, the opposite.  In naming the game at least we know what we are up against, and for some reason I am not too worried about him at the moment, though I realize if this story is believable (and I am still thinking through it and seeing where it goes) that caution is obviously required in any thinking.  We can hear the Good Guys, I believe, but we must be aware that we can't take anything at face value and 'listen' as best we can to a good voice if we can find one.

I mentioned "The Troubles" as an interesting link to the "Zombies" song.  As I was looking in my notebook yesterday, I found a paragraph where I literally wrote "The Troubles", underlined.  Here is a picture of the actual paragraph:

The entry was from April 12, 2021, which is actually a fascinating one for me to go back through.  You'll note if you can see it in the picture, that at the top of the page I wrote "a link", though I am not sure why.  Below it is the last sentence from the paragraph before, and you will see the word 'gathering'.  It was in this context that I was considering things, and wrote out The Troubles.  Remember, that I started this post with an accidental writing of "Alizio", a word that I found appears exactly two times in a book, and each time is in context of a gathering or people heading to a place.  I also had the word "Tun" in my head, which at least one meaning or interpretation of points to one of these gathering places.

It was actually Holy Places that I was writing of in at least part of that April notebook entry, and I made a reference to Atlas Shrugged, a book written by Ayn Rand.  In that book, people are gathered out of society and brought to the Rocky Mountains, specifically to Colorado (which has come up in William Tychonievich's syncs, I believe).

In that part of the entry, I compared the Atlas Shrugged plot to the Family of Light (I called them family of Joseph, in the entry) being gathered out to a place of refuge.  I've typed out excerpt below (which ultimately ends with the last sentence in the top of the photographed page above):

Atlas Shrugged - Joseph's House preparing to change or create something new in response to a failing or deteriorating world.

The Holy Places being those areas of refuge for all to escape - evacuation - the mess?  Calves led up to the stall.

I wonder if it gets better for a little bit and then worse?  No, I don't think so.  We've crossed the Rubicon and things will continue to deteriorate in different ways.  Global conflict will at some point ensue, but need to be delayed or not significant enough in order for a gathering to occur first.

OK, so all of that sound pretty apocalyptical, and you have to remember that this is 2021 and I am still a bit of a mess in many ways.  The other thing to remember that by this time, my writing is almost definitely confounded.  It would be about a month later when I would put a moratorium on all writing until I figured things out, after which Mrs. Baal-ox was suggested to have been involved in my writing.  So, everything in that entry, or just some things, might be complete B.S.  It's more than likely.

In the paragraph I included you might see that I mention a dream I had about unrest and escaping it (if you can read my writing).  I will briefly give that dream here, as I do feel that to be legitimate, and then close this post out and think a bit more (and get back to work).

In the dream, I was standing on something like a train station platform.  It was relatively calm on the platform itself, as I was the only one standing there, but in front and above me was a large TV, and on the TV was a disturbing site of fairly significant unrest.  I remember an image of a man looking at the camera (and thus me through the TV) while holding up a knife and screaming.

I looked to my left, and there was something like a rollercoaster that led out from the platform up and away out of my vision.  It had a car attached to it like you would find on an actual roller coaster - with maybe room for 8-10 people.  Sitting in the car were what looked like older people, who were dressed like they were going to church, perhaps.  Meaning, nicely dressed but not in an expensive way.  The car was not full, and it looked like it was the last one leaving.  They were calm in the car, and were a visual counter or opposite to the mayhem on the TV.  The car took off up the tracks and away, and I remember feeling some relief that they got away.

My vision, however, was drawn to a door back to the right of the platform.  I went over to it, and opened it, but saw that on the other side was stairs leading down into the darkness.  I thought with some concern about when are 'they' coming up (not knowing or remembering who 'they' were), and then woke up.

Anyway, here is that Zombie video.  Interestingly, there is an 'old' and 'new' Zombie when it comes to the song, in a way.  A band called Bad Wolves recorded a song as a tribute to O'Riordan after her death, and adjusted the lyrics, creating a 'new' Zombie.  In their new version they replaced the original mention of '1916' in one of the verses, which referenced the Easter Day Irish revolt against Britain.  That day was called "Easter Rising"... perhaps a hidden meaning or reference to the Resurrection?  In O'Riordan's video, it does feature her standing (as a gold-clad Being) with children around an empty cross.

"In Humility Our Savior" and teaching with learning and reasoning

 The genesis for the following thought comes from William Tychonievich's dream of the Green Book, and a comment I left there.  The idea behind that comment has continued to grow in my mind, so I figured I'd ride the wave and see where we go with this one.

First off, William has already made several interesting connections with the Green Book.  This isn't meant to replace those, or even add to them... it is just where my mind is going, and maybe they tie or don't.  I am not sure at the moment.

In the comment I left on that blog post, I mentioned that I had sat down at the piano for 5 minutes to play really quick (and recharge my introverted batteries!) before going to play with my kids.  After playing a Christmas song ("Where are you, Christmas?"), I pulled out an LDS hymnbook and played a few hymns.  As I was playing, it suddenly struck me that the hymnal was green (LDS hymnals are typically all green, and my large print version, that has the spiral binding underneath the hardcover spine, is no exception).  This made me think of William's Green Book.  So, I stopped playing and turned the book around so I could examine the spine.  William described the book in his dream as having gold lettering running down the spine.  Sure enough, so did the hymnal (I knew it had lettering, but for some reason I suspected but could not remember for sure if it was gold):  "Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints", it read. 

This was promising.

The cover of LDS hymn books have a black image of the Mormon Tabernacle organ pipes on the cover, with "Hymns" in gold lettering below.  These organ pipes I have already associated with Saruman (see this post for this thinking), and given the recent mention of that Being in both William's and my posts, this seemed interesting to me.

Later on, I left the comment on William's blog relating the LDS hymn book situation.  As I was typing, I got a feeling to check what the hymn I had been playing when I had the thought about the Green Book.  Our home PC is like 5 feet from the piano, so I just stepped over really quick and remembered that I had been playing "In Humility, Our Savior", Hymn #172.  This was also interesting, as the tune to this hymn is also used in an arrangement that was my daughter's favorite song a couple years ago.  The song is called "Blue Boat Home" by Peter Mayer, and the song describes the Earth as a boat that sails through the universe as if it were an ocean.  The original tune that both the Mormon hymn writer as well as Peter Mayer applied their lyrics to is from a 1800's Welsh hymn called "Hyfrydol", which apparently means things like "delightful, sweet, beautiful, melodious", etc.

The "Blue Boat Home" connection further caught my attention for two reasons:  first, the color blue figured prominently in the Joseph and Azilio stories, with blue figures in ships (boats) that seem to travel through the same kind of ocean that the Earth does.  Second, and related to this, is the lyrics tee up a topic I have alluded to in some posts, but have not yet discussed in detail or been specific or outright in saying.  That topic is my belief that when we learn of Nephi, the Jaredites, and even Earendil and the Numenoreans from Tolkien's tales, sailing through and across seas, oceans, and "many waters", in strange, curious vessels not built after the manner of men, we are most likely reading about them 'sailing' in much that same way.  As in, we are reading about them travelling to another world, separated from this one by space.

For those that read between the lines in previous posts, that is not a surprising statement.  For others, I am just going to let that hang for now, because I want to focus on something else about the specific hymn I was playing at the time of my Green Book thoughts, and perhaps tie that back to William's dream in some fashion.

Hymn #172 is what they would refer to in Mormon services as a 'sacrament hymn'.  It is the type of hymn that would be selected to be sung by the congregation as the sacrament of bread and water is being prepared.  As typical with sacrament songs, the lyrics (and music when it is played slowly and less energetically than the original) can be somewhat depressing.  Take the hymn in question:

Let me not forget, O Savior,
Thou didst bleed and die for me
When thy heart was stilled and broken
On the cross at Calvary.

Sung to slow music, the above phrase is actually quite sad and depressing (to me, at least).  It has a bit of a weighed down feeling, which is why when my daughter introduced me to Blue Boat Home, it kind of reimagined the hymn for me.  It became more upbeat and alive.

If you are not a Mormon, you probably would not have heard of this hymn before.  That is because the lyrics are property of the LDS Church, copyrighted in 1948 under one of the church's subsidiaries:  Intellectual Reserve, Inc., or IRI for short.  IRI owns all of the churches intellectual properties and trademarks.  

The hymn in question also has a message that is fairly consistent with that of most other churches.  That message being that Jesus died a painful death on the cross as payment for our sins (Mormons add the additional suffering in Gethsemane to the overall experience and story, though that is not captured in this hymn).  In that, you and I have done wrong things, and continue to do them, and so fall short of Heaven.  In order to enter Heaven again, someone who didn't make any mistakes or sins has to pay a penalty for the rest of us, this penalty being extreme pain.

It is Doug (of all people!), in his Cultural History of the Book of Mormon, who, in my opinion and based on what I have read, has done the best job of capturing how absurd this situation should be.  Those book accurately, in my opinion, describes an implied universe run by pain and suffering, where anything short of perfection requires a perfect being to undeservedly receive the punishment that God and/ or the universe is either anxious to inflict OR powerless to stop from being inflicted on someone.  Thus, we are surrounded by a universe we should fear and a God who either cannot or will not just forgive without someone getting some satisfaction of pain in the process.

This is demonic, and it suggests a universe run by demons (or an abominable church sitting upon Many Waters). 

However, this is the message that Christianity - Catholics, Protestants, Mormons, whomever -  as a whole has embraced!  Who exactly are we worshipping in adopting this view?

The fact is that the Mormons, for all that is said is different about them/us, preach the exact same corrupted story of Jesus that everyone else does.  And they fully own it... it says right there in the hymn, that is copyrighted by their intellectual property arm.

So, tying this back to the Green Book.  The title that William saw - Narrative Reasoning - likely has a multiple meanings, as he called out in his latest comment.  'Narrative' we can leave as a story, if not necessarily clear about what that story is, yet.

Reasoning can mean something like applying one's reason or logical thought processes.  In doing so, one might be using their intellect, which brings me to the Intellectual Reserve name.  In doing so we have a clue as to the first meaning of Narrative Reasoning.  Applying their reasoning and intellect, and the philosophies of men, the Mormon Church, along with all other churches, have created a narrative or story of abomination, and a worship of pain and suffering.  

Joseph Smith was told that all churches were an abomination by Two Beings, and my guess is that the Mormon church falls in that category now also, with the adoption of this storyline likely the primary reason (among many other reasons, however!)  As Joseph related of this experience:

“I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: ‘they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.’

And as many years before, Nephi saw a day when the Book would come forth (again, this Book is not the Book of Mormon, I don't think) and churches would claim to be Jesus', but teach only with their learning (i.e., reasoning):

For it shall come to pass in that day that the churches which are built up, and not unto the Lord, when the one shall say unto the other: Behold, I, I am the Lord’s; and the others shall say: I, I am the Lord’s; and thus shall every one say that hath built up churches, and not unto the Lord—

And they shall contend one with another; and their priests shall contend one with another, and they shall teach with their learning, and deny the Holy Ghost, which giveth utterance.

This brings me to a second meaning.  "Reasoning" has a more archaic meaning which means to challenge or question - dispute.  I believe that narrative, specifically of Jesus and exactly what the 'atonement' and resurrection that he brought was, will be challenged.  What will challenge it?  Another story, and (you guessed it) it is through the Stones, as well as other records, witnesses, and accounts that this Story will be brought.  A Challenging Narrative to Challenge The Reasoned (and Official!) Narrative that has caused Challenges (disputes)... or something like that. 

Calling out (fictional) demons

I do get it, by the way.  The content here is a bit strange already, and then you get posts where Beings who are known to only exist in fairy tales are assumed to be real and called out for their interference.  I've literally done that twice now with two different people in the last couple months, which is something that my pre-2019 self would have thought was pretty strange.  Now, I just assume there are really evil Beings, and one of them happens to have been called Saruman by Tolkien.

Whether there is a devil that has once been named Saruman or not, I can't say for sure, obviously.  I believe he exists by the fingerprints he leaves - how that has impacted my life and how I see it impacting the lives of others.  Even if wrong, I think why not share notes so that people can be armed with the best information they have in making their own decisions on who and what to listen to.  That is what we have to decide, right?  Which 'spirit' to listen to?

In his latest post, William Tychonievich mentions the gender as being one of my major hang ups with 'Tim' and the Fairies.  I think it is an accurate statement so long as it is also considered with other things I mentioned, including his appearance, name, and the content of what he said.

Fairies is a word I adopted based on William's blog in order to try and speak the same language he speaks.  I have never referred to Beings in that way outside of this blog, and I don't think of them that way either (I also don't use the word syncs).  I only use that term on this blog for that reason - because William calls them Fairies.  So, I didn't associate Fairies with women because I thought of these Beings as Fairies... I just thought of them as women, full stop.  Beings that are in some way like you and me, though not the same.  Their gender is important for the story just because of who they are and the characters they are associated with.

So, I actually didn't have any assumptions on William's view on these Beings (or even if he literally took them as Beings, which I think he considers among several possibilities), but was more thinking that it might be helpful to put more of those daughters' story out there and see if that resonated with him. 

Clearly not!  That is why I thought it was so interesting that as I was gathering up my thoughts in preparation for writing something about that, in enters Tim!  Definitely not who I was thinking of, but with gender being part of that not for its own sake, but for all of the story that it represents for these characters.

Anyway, it was quite a revelation, and I figured that maybe I was going to hold off on any more inferences down that road for the time being!

It still leaves us with Fairy Tim, who he is and to his purposes.  It is up to each of us to decide who to listen to and follow, and so Tim will be what William decides what he will be.  In the spirit of sharing notes, I will just add my own experience and perspective and people can decide if relevant or not.  As Gildor said to Frodo:

Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill.

So take this not as advice, but as a story, and take what you want from it (though I will also summarize my own takeaways).

As I thought more about Tim, I was reminded of my own experience with "Mrs. Baal-ox".  I don't know her real name, and I think I shared that she had told me even her name at the very end of her haunting of my mind and pen, but I promptly forgot it (likely for good reason).

In the spring of 2021, starting in February, I began to write very long sessions, in English, where I felt like I was communicating with another Being.  I couldn't say for sure whether I was, as this was a bit of a different experience than with other words, dreams, etc., and so sometimes treated it as a creative writing exercise.

At that time, I had reconnected with my friend from 2020, and I would share my writings with him, and he would actually go back to his words from 2019 that he had written when I was out, and help make connections between what he had written and what I was writing.  There were quite a lot there, and it seemed to add to the validity that there was 'something' there.  I also shared them with my sister, because this is one of the checks I put on myself - I asked her to read stuff so she could step in and recommend any medical treatment for me if things got strange.  I just wanted to be transparent.  It was also nice to just have someone else to talk to.

The writing also helped me - it became a bit of a lifeline at that particular time, but also was very confusing.  I was supposed to stay away from all of this kind of 'stuff', and so writing in this way, and even talking with my friend, felt like perhaps I was regressing.  It was helpful, though, because during some of this time, when there was so much that was just locked up inside of me, this became my outlet.  I didn't know what to make of it, but I found it helpful.

A strange thing happened, though, and what started out good, seemed to become strange at some point.  I am not exactly sure when - if I went back through it in detail I could probably pick out some inflection points - but things started to feel off.  The writing sometimes became more compulsive.  Some of the anxiety peaked a bit more.  And some of the things I was writing (and even started dreaming) were strange.  But not all of it - it was like this mix of good and bad, and I began to get very confused about what was going on.

I actually decided to stop writing, and told the Being(s) that I am doing this for me because I was not sure if I could trust them, or myself, anymore.  I felt like my mind was going to take some steps backward.  In a bit of a flash of inspiration, I listed out several criteria that I was going to adhere to and wrote them out to the Beings (if there were any to write to).  I looked them up just now, and here are a few examples (a few slight redactions due to just general crazy stuff!):

• ... No new information... I will not accept any additional insights, whether written or realized in the mind...
• Based on this, if I think of something and/or write something that could be construed as information, I will assume it is coming from a different source, and will disregard it, completely.
• Any patterns, connections, etc. I will assume are part of my mental thought patterns that are less than healthy, and not communication, at least from good sources, or authorized good sources
• I will accept warm hugs, positive and hopeful vibes, and any help or suggestions on things that are real to me here - things like the garden, farm, work, family, etc.

Anyway, there were several more that I wrote out.  You can see my mention of the equivalent to what William and others call 'syncs' in my reference to patterns and connections (that is how things typically work for me).  You also see a similar approach to what he took in trying to cut off new information for a period of time.  In my case, it was not time based (there was no date or deadline), but rather milestone based - I needed to figure out what was real or not with what had been written.

I felt really good about my list, and I felt that other Beings did also.  As in, this was OK.  I actually crossed off one of my criteria based on what I felt was 'feedback', felt good about the change, and so began my writing freeze.

It was at this point that I recognized the ugly or compulsive side to what I had been doing.  I began to feel this compulsion to write - it was almost unbearable at times.  I would have to go find things to distract myself.  I had returned to work again during the first part of 2021 (after not working for most of 2020 as a result of my mental struggles) and that helped also.  Sometimes I was just white knuckling it, holding out on not writing.  It was fairly intense at times.

By mid to late July, however, it was gone.  This is when Mrs. Baal-ox introduced herself one morning.  I didn't make the connection between her and the writing until later... at that time it was just a random woman who said "My name is [blank], by the way".  And then that was it.

About a week later I was waiting for my daughter to come out from dance and sitting in my car, and I got this feeling to write, which I first hesitated about, but it was a better feeling - like the old good feeling.  It felt OK.  It was in that writing, just a couple short paragraphs, and more like the 'warm hugs' I said were allowed anyway, in which I wrote the phrase:

"She is gone.  The other.  No more tricks"

I think I have shared that phrase before in other posts, but that is the overall context.  

I interpret the story as my criteria and the decision not to write for that time allowed me to 'wait out' Mrs. Baal-ox.  Almost like she needed to feed on it or something, as I think on it, and if I wasn't going to write, then perhaps she had to go.  I don't know honestly, though, and my read on it might be totally off.

Anyway, here are some thoughts based on this

• I think my writing of that time started out good, but I don't even know that for sure
• Even if good, it was corrupted or infiltrated at some point, and bad elements became blended in with the good (meaning, multiple voices talking in the same manner/ language)
• It took setting boundaries and criteria, in this situation, to expose the good and the bad
• The Good Guys respected the boundaries I set, and worked within them... the Bad Guys disregarded my criteria and tried to have me write and go against what I said
• "Tricks" do exist, and Evil will use them - it isn't a game, and they can be very tricky.
• Even as things turned 'off', the Good Guys never left me.  They were there.

I think there is some relevance for William's Tim here.

I may be overreaching or reading too much into things, but in matters like this, I think better to be cautious than not.  In my experience those who have our best interest at heart are OK with that, and being doubted and questioned also... they know the stakes, and we should feel like we are among friends.

Yes, the fact that Tim showed up as a male was surprising and concerning as I thought through the story.  The most concerning thing, however, is that Tim completely disregarded William's wishes.  Now, William might be OK with this, and whatever he and Tim discussed made everything all cool, but at the same time to me this throws probably the biggest red flag of all (again, if it happened to me... William's experience might be different).  

Those who I feel are good will understand and respect the boundaries we set.  If you say come back November 27 and leave me alone until then, I think they would (though there still could be some noise in there because a brain has been trained for so long to see things and patterns in a certain way).

The fact that Tim didn't think that the rule applied to him sounds very much like Tim... horns and all.  I am sure there were all sorts of important reasons why waiting until November 27 wasn't necessary, but are any of them valid?  Why not just wait a few weeks?  Only William can answer that, and it sounds like something he is looking into, anyway.  

I mean, it seems strange that Tim shows up like that just as William had just declared making headway on some interpretive progress and a story, particularly with respect to some Saruman themes.  Why not continue to give him some space to figure some more things out?  His idea seemed to be working in that regard, and so I just don't see a need for Tim to enter here (for any good reason), at least before November 27.

As for the 'syncs' in general:  Are all or even many of them coming from some Being(s) who may or may not be or hang out with the fictional character of Saruman?  I don't think so - I think there are good voices blending in here in many instances perhaps.  I am just saying that this particular communication channel may have become corrupted just like many others have, in that we can't easily tell between good or bad sources.  

And maybe rather than taking a hike, Tim can go jump in a lake... of fire and brimstone.  

Saruman, you rat... you've left fingerprints

The plot thickens as I try to assess latest developments.

I had actually crafted the first part of a follow-up post on 'Kor'.  The latest development with the Peaceful School Bus had me revisiting some things - even some earlier translations that had that word, including a phrase I posted in my Part 1 January and February words.

I was actually ending up in some additional interesting thoughts, but I am going to hold off on that, though, and just be very open about the possibilities of what is happening and lay out my reasoning in as transparent a way as I can.

I wrote yesterday that perhaps these Sync Fairies were actually 7 in number.  This is based on other parts of the story in my head that haven't really been articulated here, but I feel is fairly foundational.  These 7 Beings we would call the daughters of Asenath, and part of their role is to help and lend assistance to a few other Beings.  I feel they have helped me, for example.

I have been trying to figure out if I hear their 'voice' in this latest round of 'syncs', particularly as it has played out with William Tychonievich's posts and in some of the commentary from those who are also involved with him and the syncs.

It has been challenging, and just when I think I have it figured out one way or the other, something surprises me.

Yesterday, I was all but ready to suggest or call the decision that, yes, these syncs must be part of this same group - these 7 (actually 6 now, but that is a long story) and those who also work with them - and I was overreacting initially in putting them under evaluation.

I went over to William's blog this morning, and his posts there actually have me thinking this is not the case.  I've made a complete 180, actually.  I will explain my reasoning briefly.

First, what surprised me and what is not congruent with my experience, is that William had dream experiences with a male named Tim.  My guess and experience is that, if we are dealing with the Good Guys in this situation, they would not be male, particularly if they are saying the kinds of things they were communicating to him.  It seems in places we would call Heaven, it is the Ladies that are calling the shots.  Asenath, Eowyn-Ilmare, Asenath's daughters, etc.  One could say that perhaps they, or one of them, showed themselves as male, but this has not been my experience, either.  Meaning, a Being can take many different forms (they have in my case) but gender remains consistent with identity or how a Being presents themselves.  Maybe another character that works with them, perhaps?  Again, doesn't map to my experience.

So, this gave me some pause.  Then there was the name itself - Tim.  I will get to this in a second, but it is perhaps important.

Second, William stated how he went back and looked at his word choice, particularly the fact that the Being was dressed 'smartly', and this was not how he would normally describe it, rather using something like 'sharp'.  That, and the text from his class that he followed up with, gave me another red flag.  The Being addressing him is smart, and wants to be known as smart.

This actually caused me to look at my own word choice in my last post.  I ended my summary of the latest Fairy behavior by saying:  "I have to respect that kind of skill".  I then noticed that I used the word 'sneakily' in describing how the Morley Hum Exterminator symbol was put together.  

Skill.  Sneakily.  

As I read them, this wasn't sounding positive, actually.  I then remembered the definition for the English version of Saruman's name (I had also proposed an Elvish translation).  That definition is:  "Man of Skill and Cunning".

And so there it was.  I was describing Saruman and his skill and cunning.

I then thought of other clues that I have added up on my ledger of trying to figure things out, and they started to tip the scale and point to that Being also.

I mentioned the sun-flower woman, but did not mention the most interesting part of that engagement, primarily because I was adding it to my evaluation criteria and didn't want to call it out until I thought it was important.  In that exchange, she hung around our farm and talked for a bit, complimenting me on how nice it was.  As part of that compliment, she strangely fixated on the fact that she thought I would want to stay here for the rest of my life.  The words and phrases on how she articulated this were 'off' in a way, that made them stand out.  She said things like "you probably will just never want to leave, right?" and "I bet you just stay here until you die".  Strange phrases to me, and she seemed very adamant about them.  Very strongly emphasized.

Those words stood out to me more as the day went on, and I thought to myself "No, that isn't the plan - to stay here.  At some point we leave".  At least that was and is the story in my head.  So it seemed off.

At the same time, I was receiving some email from a person, of which the content of the notes also sounded a bit off to me.  I ended up telling them, that last week before my hiatus, that I heard Saruman in their words.

To clarify, this is not about the person who was writing.  I have had Saruman in my mind before - for an extended period of time, actually - and consider myself a person trying to be Good and not trying to listen to Bad.  But it is a powerful, skillful, and crafty voice, and sneaks in even on the best of us.  And in our condition in many ways there isn't much that can be done about it, other than to be on watch for it.

So, again, to say Saruman's words and influence is playing out in a person's life is not to say anything bad about that person.  Perhaps just the opposite, actually.  If Saruman is trying to get Home in whatever way he can devise, he is going to latch on to those that he thinks might potentially get him there, which I think is something I tried to tell that person at the time.

As I wrote before, it was my misgivings about the nature of the Syncs (with sunflower woman being the culmination) and my interaction with this other person that gave me the nudge to put things on pause before.

OK, so back to other things.

When William first reached out to me via comment at the beginning of this blog, it was with one name - actually the full name of that person with a question mark, and nothing else.  I don't allow that name here, and have called them Doug when I've had to, and this was the first red flag at the beginning.  Those Beings that have communicated with me in the past don't use that name.   There have been multiple instances where that name has either been skipped over, or substituted out, rather than use it.  In fact the name of Doug was taken from one such substitution.  I borrowed it.

I had never heard from or spoken to William before, so this put me on a little bit of alert.  And again, this isn't about the person of William... this is about looking for the influences that come out in our thoughts and actions (mine included).

A little while later, there was a black feather incidence, where William found a strange black feather on his front door.  He likened it to Dumbo's black feather, but I also had other context that gave me pause.  Black Feathers was the name of a group, apparently, that my partner back in 2020 was learning about in his words tracking them back to Numenor.  They weren't good.  Bad dudes.  So, when I saw that black feather, I didn't think of Dumbo also, but rather of these Black Feathers.  Whether that Black Feather connection my friend had written about back in 2020 is a real thing or not, that is where my mind went to.

The obsessive-compulsive behavior was another watch point for me - both in terms of what I read William doing, but also in what I found myself doing (taking pictures, which was/is a new thing, feeling an obsessive need to write about the syncs, etc.).  This was also different, and I can say the only times I have felt that kind of compulsion before were not good times.  It doesn't mean I am interpreting the feeling correctly, by the way, but it felt forced.  At the best of times with this kind of stuff, it hasn't felt to be a compulsion like that, at least how it comes out in me.

And there are other things that comes out.  That "Hercules in New York", as William said, is a crazy movie.  It just makes no sense.  As I think of it, this is also interesting because my friend, who had a better bead on Saruman than I did, indicated that Saruman was what he called 'touched'.  Meaning, crazy, just a little bit.  He has been here for quite awhile, shut out from his Home, among a bunch of Beings who I am sure he feels are beneath him, and has lost some touch with reality as a result (as if I should be a good judge of that!).

In fact, when I went offline in 2020, my friend continued to write and try to understand what was going on throughout the summer and fall.  I wasn't in contact with him until much later - I believe it was January 5, 2021, because he said it was the day of Epiphany.  I told him I was doing much better.  I still had a ways to go, but had started to turn a bit of a corner starting sometime in October 2020.  That is when I said my therapy and medication seemed to have started helping out quite a bit.

He remarked that the timing was interesting, because according to what he had written, Saruman had been involved in my mind during that time.  There was some kind of mind-link that had been established, and that is what had been causing my ongoing issues.  (I know, this sounds crazy, but I think we are past all of that, right?).  Some intervention had released my mind from his at some point around that October time frame.  The intervention actually required a 'trade' where my friend had 'given' all of my words to Saruman in exchange for his agreeing to let my mind go.

As to the truth to all of that, and what the trade mechanics actually involved, you would have to talk to him about.

I mention this because if true, I can relate to the 'crazy' aspect of this Being.  And quite frankly, I can see how their mind or influence could be reflected in a movie like Hercules.  You have a lot of interesting syncs and storylines, wrapped into something that is just nuts.  The overall thing is not a good story, and that has always been Saruman's problem.  He knows a lot.  He is very smart.  He holds that book of keys, for crying out loud, but his mind is now chaos, or at least bent, and without some repentance on his end, that won't change.  

The repentance isn't something he is willing to do, and so his stories are no good.

Thus, he latches on to minds, like a lifeboat, in the hopes perhaps that they will take him where he needs to go.  I don't know what his plan is, actually, but it isn't good.  Perhaps there is a smart plan that he has, and a method to the madness, or he is just crazy.  I could even imagine him acting crazy to get some pity for his plight, for example.   That would be a smart play.  Who knows what he has conjured up.  He is skillful and full of cunning.

Unfortunately, I think it is something we have to put up with.  In the LDS temple drama, as Adam and Eve were cast out into the lone and dreary world, Satan was the influence they couldn't shake.  Wherever they were, there he was, constantly interfering with them, and even attempting to speak on their behalf when True Messengers came poking around.  Even when they prayed, it was Satan who answered them.

That link - that all critical link to Heaven - had been broken, and their only choice at that time was either to believe or not believe what Satan was teaching.  Adam would only say that he is waiting for True Messengers.  It was all he could do - they had been promised, and he would wait.

I have associated in my own mind and story as those messengers carrying names, signs, and tokens, which include Stones.  And I will wait for them.

In the meantime, I won't say I am not writing here - I still have interesting ideas.  I think there are other good voices also mingled in with all of this, too.  I have felt them.  I feel I was getting really good insight into some words and storyline, for example, in that last week before my hiatus, even as the syncs were shouting.  But I view them as two different sets or groups of voices now, perhaps.  I don't know.

So, whether in my words, William's syncs, or whoever else is having strange experiences, I think we have an alloy of Good and Bad.  The fact that it is likely very hard, if not impossible, to fully tell which is which at this point (think of that mouse cutting the phone cord) means that we should be very careful in making assumptions.  And also we should change the narrative or assumption that just because you have a bad Being influencing you means you are a bad person.  Like I said, it might be just the opposite.

Jesus went around casting out devils from the minds of people, and those were the sheep he was meant to find.  We imagine things like the Exorcist or something in thinking of demonic possession, which if I were a skillful demon would suit me just fine.  Make everyone believe in fake demons and possession, while the real demons go to work in ways we don't notice.

Also, as I think about it, it doesn't surprise me that many of the syncs coming from Saruman match up well to other elements of my story and words.  As I said, he 'has' them all already - more than I have, actually - and understands them better than I do, I am sure.  I shouldn't be surprised.  Doug and his group in Salt Lake City have them also.  So, nothing is a secret among Beings I don't necessarily think have my or your best interests in mind.

Well, that was quite a soap box and a bit of a 180.  As I said, I was all about to declare victory one way, but I was saved by the bell, a bit, and have flipped back to calling out Saruman.  Not the first time and likely not the last.

I actually am revisiting my assumptions relative to the Two Beings offering to be sent.  I had Brigham-Omar as the mad one, but perhaps it is Saruman, instead?  He proved to be even stronger and smarter than Omar, when Omar was in the form of Wormtongue, and was the one who led Brigham out to the desert, likely based on promises he wasn't prepared to keep.  I wonder if we pull back the curtain on a number of things, if we don't see Saruman there, and this extends back to the very beginning.  I am partially convinced this is the case.

In any case, to summarize, as I have interesting ideas, if any, I will try and post them, but no promises either way.  Meaning, I am not signing off but not committing to the same posting schedule.  This includes posting about syncs, which at the very least are confounded enough with Saruman's skillful influence that I will not give them any heed at the moment.

Oh, Tim ... the name Tim.  I said I was going to get to that.  This actually ties into my reasoning on revisiting the Two Beings.  Tim looks to mean something like "God's Honor".  It seems to also mean things like "Honoured by God", "Honoring God", "In Honor of God', etc.

I actually laughed at this, because it fits very well.  I had previously related the version of that 'council' where Two Beings volunteer to be sent, and God chooses the first, from the Book of Abraham version.  The Book of Moses version (also found in the Pearl of Great Price), has this account:

And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying—Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.

"Give me thine honor", Satan said. Did you catch that? Tim's name could mean a positive sense or negative sense of that exact phrase, depending on which one you choose and you view it. In either case it has to do with the Honor of God, which is what Satan desired to have God give him.


Who is Satan, then, in this story? Saruman! And he is calling himself by the name of "Tim" as represented in William's dreams (sorry, William, that is where this takes me, but note my comments above, and my own personal experience, on influence vs. person!).


And I find it interesting that here I am writing about a future story where a Being will act just like Moses and lead the Family of Light to the promised land, and who shows up? Saruman! Of course he would hover around that story.


As I continue to think on it, I think I definitely had it wrong between Brigham and Saruman as that second Being.  It was Saruman all along.  

Tricky guy.