The Pink Spider Queen

OK, so my last post I discussed Charlotte, and as part of that mentioned the spider from Charlotte's Web.  Charlotte will weave words into her web, which ultimately is seen as a series of miracles that spare Wilbur's life.

Spiders were on my my mind recently. I mentioned that as I tried to drum up a mental image of Pengolodh the other day, the persistent image that kept coming to my mind was of a dark spider.  For whatever that is worth.

But another spider has been on my mind, and that is the Pink Spider from a dream I had back a few years ago, as related in my post "Kings and (Missing) Queens: Finding Ilmare-Eowyn".  In that post, here is how I captured the Pink Spider dream:

 

In that dream, I was talking to a female of extreme 'height' - it was hard to actually get a sense of our relative sizes, but I sensed that I was very small compared to her, and I was standing on something like a table where I could be at least be closer to her face, or at least have the perception that I was closer to where her voice was coming from.  I couldn't see her face, however, and we were discussing, of all things, bees.  I found that I was teaching this Being about bees, their behavior, etc., which the Being seemed to be interested in, or at least patiently humoring me as I was going on and on.  As I was talking about the queen bee, and looking at a very oversized bee frame (as in something that looked like it might have belonged to a giant), I suddenly became very interested and focused on finding the queen of that hive.  "I wonder if she is here?" was my thought, and I began to look very closely at the frame to see if I could find her.  

As I was doing this, however, I noticed out of the corner of my eye some movement under a ledge at the other side of the table where the Being was.  I pulled my attention away from the hive and my search for the queen to see what had made that movement.  Out of the shadows emerged a very large (to me) spider.  I should have been scared, but this spider was actually kind of cute.  It was pink, was dressed up, and I could tell this 'thing' was sort of a pet to this large Being.  I was still shocked and appalled and I told the Being that I thought she should get rid of it (I may have even suggested killing it).  The Being laughed politely and said something like "Oh no, why would I do that?".  She was being nice in her reply, but I could tell my suggestion was extremely offensive.  I then woke up.

In the post, I would go on to focus on the bee symbolism, while overlooking two very important clues relating to the identity of this spider and the implications.

First, it was as I was wondering where the Bee Queen was (who I take to represent Eowyn) that the Pink Spider appeared.  The spider made herself known as if in answer to my question as to whether the Queen was there in that hive, or somewhere else.

This is a critical clue, and I would now interpret the appearance of the spider to be directly related to my question, as well as answer the identify of the Pink Spider.

The Spider was meant to represent Eowyn.

Crazy, but not so crazy after I thought about it a bit.  I didn't recognize her or even consider that here standing in front of me was the Queen, because I was looking for a Bee and instead was introduced to the Pink Spider.

But why a spider?  The answer to that question actually lies, in my opinion, to the second major clue from my dream, which was actually my own reaction to the presence of the spider.  In the dream, rather than be receptive to the spider, I actually was alarmed at its presence, and recommended to the Being who I had been talking about Bees with that we should get rid of it.  It was definitely not what I was expecting to see as I was searching for the Queen Bee.

Does that reaction remind you of anything or some of my own behaviors in real life?  It should.  We saw it a bit on this blog, as we I didn't know how to address or interact with the reality of various syncs, winks, coincidences, and just general narrative intrusions into my life.  I had set out to write some of my thoughts and feelings around all of this 'stuff', partly to open this all back up again and to figure out what really happened.  I was searching for something, just as I was in that dream.  But I had some pretty clear expectations of what that should look like and how I was going to address my search and exploration.  Part of that was driven by just habit or how I thought things should go, and part of that was driven by history, meaning I got the crap beaten out of me back in 2020 and ended up really lost for quite awhile, and I was determined not to have that happen again.

All of that went into describing how I was responding to some influences of this Pink Spider, which I will elaborate on further in just a second.

First, though, I want to emphasize that this reaction to this type of symbolism or influence didn't just start on this blog, whether with things in actual life like the sunflower lady at my door or just some of the syncs and writings in general with William Tychonievich's blog, but it actually began much earlier.  Sammy Hagar has come up here recently, and I actually used him as an example of what I am describing here.  In an earlier post, I described how I had almost an allergic reaction to even the thought that someone like Hagar could write something in a song that I should pay attention to.  How funny now, right, given that not only do I see strong symbols in his lyrics, I see even stronger, and unmistakable, symbols in his very appearance or Being, even (dressing up in his red apparel and calling himself 'the Red Rocker').  

I had asked Leo to send me the old email thread from 2017 in which the Sammy Hagar conversation, and my resistance to anything worth looking into about him, went down with Doug and the rest of the group.  I shared a partial quote in the comments section to that Sammy Hagar post linked above from one of my email responses suggesting that at no time would I be looking into Hagar or any Top 40 references to gain insight into anything.  It was  pretty firm stand I took on this, and it was very similar, if not identical, to my reaction in seeing the Pink Spider appear in my dream.  I had other ideas as to how stories and inspiration would come, and this was not it!

That has obviously changed now, fairly drastically, and it took me some adapting and real thinking to figure out how I wanted to handle it as I went through this blog.  I haven't stepped into this on a whim, let's just say, but actually pretty cautiously.  The big decision point for my was last October, when I resumed writing and determined to see this thing through, feeling like there was some unfinished business.  I had hoped that I could have left it off prior to that, but nope, that wasn't the case.  And I have enjoyed the ride since, honestly, so no complaints on my end.  It was the right decision, at least so far.  We'll see where things go.

But back to Eowyn as a Spider, or being shown or introduced as one.  Why?

Well, we have already established the reality of Ungoliant, and placed her as the Mother of Abominations that sits upon the Many Waters.  Our own world falls under her domain, and the Secret Combinations that sit above us and around us (and which include Pengolodh, as I currently imagine it) are under her spider webs.

Enoch viewed a world in his vision in which chains bound the Earth, and all was veiled in darkness (see the PGP, chapter 7).  That is Ungoliant's work, and those that work with and under her (including our not-friend Saruman).  Ungoliant, as a demon, was symbolized or expressed as a Spider.  A dark spider who ate light, killed the Trees of Valinor, and spread gloom and darkness wherever she was.  This gloom was analogies or described in the form of nets, or the webs that she would weave.  It is understanding the nature of Ungoliant and how our world is in darkness, that we might understand the need for or the symbolic relevance of Eowyn showing up as a Spider herself.

Truth died and was lost at the hands of Ungoliant, with that Truth being symbolized by the Light of those Trees.  In its place, we have basically a representation of the Void, or the absence of Truth, and into and within that Void we have spider webs meant to blind, distract, and ultimately keep us from that Truth.  

The name Spider comes from old words meaning a Spinner or Weaver.  Someone who tells stories can be said to spin or weave that story, and even the ability to influence minds has been likened to this concept of "Spin".  A 'spin doctor' is a person who specialized in shaping the perception of truth.  It is something we in our everyday life deal with, both personally, as well as in large scale, with things like media and political propaganda.  Reality is spun for us.

It is this analogy and the spider imagery that I've extended to Pengolodh, for example.  He is the so-called Lore Master - the greatest, as we are reminded of in Doug's words (though my own vote lies with the Pink Spider).  He has also set himself up as the authority of truth, if not on our world, probably on another world where it still matters for us down here in The Pit and our own situation.

So, we have Spiders spinning their tales and keeping us trapped in webs of darkness, or at least that is how I see the role or objectives of these Beings.  I mean, think of how the angel described the fate of the writings that were likened to the Brass Plates to Nephi.  They passed through the Great and Abominable Church (Ungoliant's group), and it came out the other side a counterfeit, with simple truths removed and a story that would make Gentiles stumble into wickedness.

That is our situation, in that we are surrounded by false stories and just falseness in general.

Into that steps the work of the Pink Spider.  She (and those working with her or on her team, like the Daughters of Asenath) will weave her own symbols, winks, syncs, and stories into that mess, and leave breadcrumbs or story threads and symbols that we can find and derive meaning from.  Given the state and reach of the Great and Abominable Church, it may be the best that they can do.  I say that, though, not saying it isn't enough or a minimum effort, but rather that this is exactly the right thing to do based on how the game is being played.  Buried in their own false stories are kernels of truth that we can take for our own, and make new stories, or derive some form of true inspiration from, if we have ears to hear.  Their stories and distractions become the vehicles for truth to slip through the cracks, maybe.

As I typed 'kernels of truth', I actually remembered a statement I had written back on January 24, 2022.  I included this in a post titled "A new (and old) way prepared to begin anew...", but I found myself having a little bit of anxiety around words that had really ramped up in January and February 2022 (I shared these in a few posts, starting with this one).  As in, I was worried that the ramp up meant I was heading for crazy town again.  On top of that, I had just watched the last Matrix movie, and had seen some symbols and story elements in there that seemed to resonate with some topics, I guess, and this made me nervous.  So, I started writing out some thoughts, and then starting with the line "Escaping a matrix?", sort of felt like I was getting some thoughts outside of my own to help me feel better, and so began writing that into words.  I was actually at my youngest sons hockey game, and the writing just started to flow from my thoughts.  Here is what I wrote again, and I've bolded the lines around "kernel of truth" because that is what led me back just now to this little writing:

January 24, 2022

What would they, it, whatever
even say that would change my mind?

To make me think and see a new thing

to dissolve and wash away the doubt and fear

- of what?

That there is no purpose, no meaning

or that whatever purpose would be proposed

would not be enough (or too much)

And thus, in the end, no rescue

for either there is no one to do the rescuing

or nothing (no-thing) to be rescued to

Escaping a matrix?

That is a tired storyline, built by those

who know not the way

But even in storylines false and confounded

are kernels of truth that if found and planted apart

can lead to a better course

and crack a door

to a larger world

Reality is where we are

but we have forgotten what makes it real

and by who made

and so lost, in reality unreal,

stumble

looking for escape 

a hatch to leave

this the ultimate un-reality (in thought)

to a forgetting of this thing:

this, here, is our home

Made so and blessed by kinder rulers

than those who currently over-see

for our benefit

A place so blessed

that heaven itself will come down to join with

Rulers again established

A new (and old) way prepared

to begin anew

in lands finally made clean

The mysterious made now not so

But knowledge and happiness carried in hearts many

where sadness seemingly intractable once reigned

Not beyond one's imagination (if you think on it!)

But natural and real

Love as the light

- the perfect light - 

because it is shared

The light of others shines upon our path

as ours shines on theirs

throwing there-by in the sharing

a creation without decay

Upheld not by force nor will

But uncompulsory in its unrolling

- in our unrolling - 

to futures not wholly known or fated

(Being now made free)

But in knowing again this:

that it will be good

Understanding from experience hard-earned

that where the light shines

darkness cannot stand

This light now being made manifest in us

Never to be again overcome

Children of Christ

His family eternal, bonds unbreaking

Happiness abounding

In other words, focusing on those words relating to kernels of truth in the earlier part of what I wrote above, I can watch a movie like the Matrix and find some seeds of truth in there.  That doesn't mean the Matrix, as a whole, is a story I have to take seriously.  Far from it!  In fact, this thought I captured above indicates that is exactly the wrong thing to do.  It was created and originated with those who 'know not the way'.  Rather, when we find those symbols and threads, we should pull them out and plant them somewhere else, and see where it takes us.

With some surprise right now, I realize that is actually what I have been doing on this blog, or attempting to do, particularly as things developed after the first few months.  I am blindly finding my way through a story, and it isn't probably even close to right in many aspects, but I do think there are things that are close (maybe wishful thinking).  In putting that together, I have literally been pulling out kernels that I have seen in these other stories and used them to explore a story that really doesn't have anything to do, necessarily, with whatever I just pulled them out of.  

Just like the Matrix, my guess is that many of these stories, songs, individuals or whatever ultimately originate with or by those in confusion and darkness, so in finding the kernels there, this isn't a ratification or sanctioning of the stories they came from.  I can find a thread in a movie like National Treasure (which I actually like), without having to bear testimony that this movie is true, or Hollywood celebrities are chosen truth bearers or Elves, or something like that.  I don't have to have an opinion at all about it - I just need to keep looking for kernels, pulling them out, and planting them in this other story and continue to develop things as it all unfolds.  

It is one thing to pull a kernel out, it is definitely quite another to really understand what is really meant or how to think about it, so there are going to be mistakes and wrong turns, as evidenced here on this blog.  But if we keep pulling, planting, and thinking, I say we have a chance at ending up closer to reality or some additional light.  It is worth a shot.

And that belief or hope would be based on the understanding that there really are Good Beings who are weaving in those kernels of truth for us to find.  The Pink Spider - Eowyn - would be one of those Beings.

I mean, given everything else I have written and thought through, it really isn't all that crazy to think in this way, but it does make things more 'real' and 'intentional'.  In other words, when we see something like this, or find a hidden treasure buried in these stories, we have to be willing to accept that it was intentionally placed there (through means I don't understand, but probably involve influence over minds) or our perception of things was intentionally modified to see things in a new way.  Either way, if we believe the message was intentional, then it becomes us to consider it, and for me, that comes down to building at least part of a story or narrative, or at least exploring one.

By the way, just as a quick mental health note:  I will tell you from personal experience that were you to walk in and tell a healthcare professional that you believe little messages have been inserted into movies, songs, books, etc. for you to find hidden meaning from, that conversation isn't going to go well for you.   So, just be careful (if this is something you even seriously consider) and realize that not everything is a message, and even more importantly, even is something is a message, we may not understand what that is well enough (or even at all) to do anything about it right now.  I think just safer to write blogs about it for the time being, or write out thoughts and explore them that way, or however works best for you.  Seriously.  Trust me on this one.

OK, so where have we ended up?  Oh yeah, the Pink Spider has likely inserted little clues and symbols into things like National Treasure, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and a host of other movies, songs, advertisements, conversations, etc. mentioned on this blog.  Further, individuals like Sammy Hagar are walking around, dressing up as the Red Rocker because of some influence from said Spider, and this means something for us to consider.  And lastly, synchronicities that affect real life, including events, writings, blogs, etc. are also influenced.

Got it.  I will let you know when the White Coats show up.

On the upside, in this paradigm, I don't have to like Sammy Hagar or even think anything about him at all.  Phew.  The symbols that he wears and speaks have nothing to do with him, and everything to do about how Beings who play for the Good Guys are communicating and reinforcing a story in a world that is currently trapped in darkness and confusion.  I can continue to view Hagar as obnoxious, and William can continue to fantasize about punching Mo Willems, and we can still derive meaning or symbols from their work.

Anyway, all jokes aside, this is seriously my best theory I have for what is going on, at a general level, and why things are the way they are with all of this.  It also serves to solve the mystery of the Pink Spider, so we'll see how this plays out.