A new (and old) way prepared to begin anew...

In the midst of all of these symbols, syncs, references, etc. that seem to be the current order of things or way of communication, I (finally!) caught a brief spark of an idea in the way that I have really missed this afternoon.  

Whereas these other communication forms seem (to me at least) to still be very loud, not as clear as I would like, somewhat intrusive, and force you to kind of wade through stuff you'd sometimes rather not (e.g., Woodkid videos) in trying to piece together a story or meaning, this other form just kind of sits lightly on my mind.  It's just a whisper, really, a faint flash that is both unmistakable but almost indiscernible at the same time.  It's hard to describe, but I recognize it by what happens afterward - the idea just kind of builds and grows, and suddenly you now see something in a different way.  Something just clicks, and it just kind of happened.

Not that this means that I either heard it right, or that the thought itself that grows afterward is completely right (my guess is that it isn't, as all forms of communication are subject to some interpretation)... or even that this doesn't wholly come from within my own mind, but it just is different.  I've missed it lately amid the noise, and so even if completely wrong, I don't mind writing about it because it just reminds me of 'home', in a way that seems familiar.

And not that these other forms of communication are bad, either, it's just it feels more foreign to me, which is perhaps more on me than anything.  Who knows.

I am actually not going to get into where the thought takes me until my next post (hopefully tomorrow depending on my schedule), but as an introduction I will leave below a short poem/ writing that I did almost two years ago in January 2022.  Some of this was brought to mind as part of this spark in my mind, and will serve to set up what began building in my mind this afternoon.

In terms of context, in January 2022 I was really doing pretty well.  I would still be under psychiatric care until later that summer, but I was no longer seeing a therapist and life was pretty good.  On January 17, however, I began to get a few more Elvish words like I had used to.  These would be the same words, or at least some of them, that I shared in my post "Jan-Feb 2022 Words Part 1:  A hidden plan revealed".  It actually looks like I said in that post that I would share this in a separate post, so I guess good thing I am doing so now.

My first reaction to that development was more "Oh, crap" than anything, and so I was already a bit on edge.  As additional context for what is contained in the writing, I had also just recently watched the latest Matrix film which had come out the month earlier, and I admit I had some anxiety watching it.  Some of my old feelings and struggles about what is real vs. not real came back, and I found myself needing to kind of process all of this.

In the course of that, on January 24, I sat at my youngest son's hockey practice, and I just got a sense to write a few things out about how I felt.  It wasn't a compulsive feeling, but more of just write and see how you feel kind of thing.  So I began to write, and started out in very much my own thinking and confusion.  With the line "Escaping a matrix?", however, the feeling shifted to once again that good feeling of a gentle hand just kind of helping out with my thoughts and pen... a bit of a co-writer, not taking over things, but just kind of sitting there with me while I worked a few things out.  I felt better after writing it, and ended up being just fine with more Elvish words as they continued to come into February.  It was at this point, I think, that I knew I was going to be OK no matter what happened.

So, here that bit of writing is, and I will spend a future post or two tying this into my thought-spark from today.

January 24, 2022

What would they, it, whatever
even say that would change my mind?

To make me think and see a new thing

to dissolve and wash away the doubt and fear

- of what?

That there is no purpose, no meaning

or that whatever purpose would be proposed

would not be enough (or too much)

And thus, in the end, no rescue

for either there is no one to do the rescuing

or nothing (no-thing) to be rescued to

Escaping a matrix?

That is a tired storyline, built by those

who know not the way

But even in storylines false and confounded

are kernels of truth that if found and planted apart

can lead to a better course

and crack a door

to a larger world

Reality is where we are

but we have forgotten what makes it real

and by who made

and so lost, in reality unreal,

stumble

looking for escape 

a hatch to leave

this the ultimate un-reality (in thought)

to a forgetting of this thing:

this, here, is our home

Made so and blessed by kinder rulers

than those who currently over-see

for our benefit

A place so blessed

that heaven itself will come down to join with

Rulers again established

A new (and old) way prepared

to begin anew

in lands finally made clean

The mysterious made now not so

But knowledge and happiness carried in hearts many

where sadness seemingly intractable once reigned

Not beyond one's imagination (if you think on it!)

But natural and real

Love as the light

- the perfect light - 

because it is shared

The light of others shines upon our path

as ours shines on theirs

throwing there-by in the sharing

a creation without decay

Upheld not by force nor will

But uncompulsory in its unrolling

- in our unrolling - 

to futures not wholly known or fated

(Being now made free)

But in knowing again this:

that it will be good

Understanding from experience hard-earned

that where the light shines

darkness cannot stand

This light now being made manifest in us

Never to be again overcome

Children of Christ

His family eternal, bonds unbreaking

Happiness abounding