A second post for today because it is on my mind.
So, a source I believe I trust (but again, can't be sure) has indicated that Saruman (the old zombie) is definitely not on the good side. Seemed pretty clear, and as I have thought on it since, nothing changes my mind on this. The story seems pretty iron-clad, if you know what I mean.
WJT left a comment in my earlier post indicating that the wording I used in wondering whether Saruman-Tim was actually on the same side as Good was very similar to the phrase from Tim himself in the book "The Key". Really interesting, and I replied that then the issue is to determine whether you believe him.
I've decided that WJT's great observation actually further suggests there is a problem here. I can almost hear the Voice of Saruman coming through my keys (the keyboard, kind) as I look back on that phrase I typed, his voice planting that seed about his potential good intentions - to give him a chance.
I don't think I can trust what I type anymore, with respect to this stuff, if I am literally typing that.
It shouldn't be surprising, I guess. My words ended up getting corrupted in 2019 to 2020. Same thing happened in my writing. And now on this blog, I find myself going through a bit of the same experience. Oh well. That is how it goes.
What really had me thinking a bit earlier, though, is what about all the 'true' stuff. I can point to specific dreams and words I would now, most likely, attribute to this Being, and some of them calling out the very Beings who you'd think are on his team. I was trying to wrap my head around that, and was a bit confused.
I remembered, though, that evil and Saruman has no team. They would sell anyone they know down the river if they were trying to save their skin. I think that is what is happening, honestly. Want to know my name? Sure. Want to know some interesting stuff? I have some things to share, and they really are true, by the way. Can you I help you out with anything and show my loyalty? I can do that. Can I let you know about other bad guys and their crimes? I have a list of names.
Does the fact that he is willing to do these things mean he is 'good'? No way. He is just trying to save his own skin. Evil has no team and no loyalty. Saruman will sell his own children, his own creations as it were, if he thought he could come out of it on top. Saruman is looking out for Saruman. The scheming never ends, I don't think.
And I think we would have a very Disney-ish view of evil if we expect the devil (i.e., Saruman) to be upfront about his intentions.
In the end, the story won't be complicated, I don't think (at least that is what my gut tells me). My guess is only those with questionable motives in this greater game are intent on convincing souls on how complicated the game is, to further justify us letting them hang around us. Need a guide? I am sure Saruman would love to tell us how difficult and complex the road is and how following him - whatever that means - is necessary. Again, ask how that worked out for Lehi, whether it was Laban-Omar, Saruman, or whoever he followed out into the darkness.
I've decided that the "Voice of Saruman" chapter in LOTR should be required reading for any person that may wonder whether a Saruman-type Being is in their own mind, or just to get a sense for how evil really operates. Seriously. You will get a feel for the sweet, melodious, and 'good' voice that he employs, and the mind tricks and power that he has. It is quite remarkable, and we are quick to judge those, perhaps, who have listened to it.
Gandalf himself fell under that sway for a time, and he found himself imprisoned as a result. When they met again, and it was Saruman who was imprisoned in Orthanc, Gandalf rebuked Saruman's invitation to come up to the tower and discuss things with him. In doing so, he said:
I keep a clearer memory of your arguments, and deeds, than you suppose. When last I visited you, you were the jailor of Mordor, and there I was to be sent. Nay, the guest who has escaped from the roof, will think twice before he comes back in by the door.
I was surprised to realize that my experience had been similar. I was locked in my own mind by that Being for quite some time, if you believe that version of the story. I don't easily forget, and I am not going to willingly step into that again!
I can't tell for sure if my own thoughts and therefore what I write is good or bad. Meaning, not that the content itself is 'bad' (it seems some of it, at least, is likely true!), but whether the Beings who share at least part of it ought to be listened to. That then could potentially come out in my writing, and I have enough evidence to suggest that I may be hurting rather than helping in some regard.
So, I have been dancing around it - indecisive as usual. I tried deleting my blog temporarily for a day on Sunday, but then decided that this wasn't the way to go, either, after thinking on it.
I am going to leave this up, but am going to stop writing, since I can't fully trust my mind or fingers. There are enough interesting connections, events, and thoughts by those who have either linked to and/or built on these thoughts in their own blogs, or taken the time to leave a comment here.
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