The mural dream I've referenced in my last couple posts continued to work on me just a bit, so I am going to get some additional thoughts down.
Why was I a child in that dream looking at the mural? I have already suggested that the dream was through the eyes of Joseph, and provided my latest thinking that the specific star that was blotted out by my finger was Dairon-Brigham.
But what was the significance that I did this as a child in my dream?
I have my answer. I remembered that in Doug's Words of Them which have Slumbered, there is a specific scene involving Joseph (Dior-Ausir at this time in Doriath) and Dairon. For context, Thingol had been killed at this point, sabotaged in order to obtain the Silmaril. Standard tales, and Doug's account as well, have this being the sole work of the Dwarves who had worked on the Nauglamir. Readers of my blog will know, however, that I believe that Dairon was complicit in this betrayal. He would then go on to also betray Dior and Nimloth (Asenath) later, resulting in Dior-Joseph's death.
In the space and time between these two betrayals, Dairon comes back to Doriath. If he hoped to be welcomed back by Dior-Joseph, that didn't happen. Rather than welcome him, Dior takes the opportunity to completely disavow and disown Dairon, ultimately referring to him as 'not-kin'. Here is how it is conveyed:
And shooing him [Dairon], Pest away! Ausir bent down, and cursed Dorian [Dairon], to come never to his own father's house again,
For broken it was bodily, and in spirit
Wandered; Not though he hold again
In clasp immanent and ponderous,
His own sword, not til in his palm rested
Again this gem [the Silmaril], or one like unto it, kin;
More so than thou, not-kin, neither uncle,
Half; but stranger always. Begone, fly!
These are strong words, even stronger when we take into account who I believe Joseph is. He is one of the Fathers of the House of Light. My story involves the gathering of that Family, and Joseph here lets Dairon know that he is not part of it. He is not kin, in the ultimate sense of that sentiment.
In other words, it is important to understand what Joseph is saying here and why. Dairon will be a stranger - always. Never to be part of Joseph's Family.
But rather than frame what Joseph is saying here as important and something to be seriously considered, Doug (or whomever Doug is channeling in this writing) makes is seem that Joseph-Dior has no idea what he is saying, too filled with rage and anger to think clearly, and that Joseph's words and feelings of anger toward Dairon were a 'misunderstanding':
Alone sent Dairon away his [Dior-Joseph] wrath, in misunderstanding this child upbraideth him, one who sat on those shores [Cuivienen], and with Vanya-highest, gathered fish to eat, and water to consume.
Did you catch that? The author called Dior-Joseph a 'child', who did not understand apparently what he was doing or saying. Didn't he know who he was talking to? This was Dairon! One who had been there at the beginning with the Eldar at Cuivienen.
Whatever.
That child imagery is the link to my dream. Joseph-Dior was called a child for cursing Dairon and casting him from his House, telling him he can never return to the house of Joseph's Father, and that he would be a stranger always. And there I sat in my dream, in front of that mural of stars as a child, using my finger of accusation (and judgement) to blot out a star. Their future story among that Family was now dark and no more.
The Stars in our sky were said to be placed there by Varda herself, who of course was Joseph's mother in a time even before this world or creation. The Elves at Cuivienen woke up under those stars looking up at them, including Dairon, something that the author directly appeals to in asserting that Joseph misunderstood and made a mistake in his condemnation of Dairon.
I do not believe there was any mistake. Joseph spoke the truth, and Dairon from that time forward is not nor ever will be part of Joseph's Family.
This is what Joseph wished to convey or felt in that dream upon his departure. I believe he wanted to make sure that as part of the gathering of his Family, since this was going to be left to others to perform, that false stars - those who pretend to be of that Family but are not - be excluded. They are not numbered or counted, and will not return to the House of Joseph's Father - ever. And the first star he started with was Dairon, as conveyed in symbolism that ties my dream directly to his confrontation and dismissal of Dairon at Doriath.
In looking at my own posts, it is interesting to note that I understood this obviously long before I realized this message was to be found in that dream. So some part of me picked up that messaging, whether from that dream or from other thoughts, communications, words, etc. I mean, I dedicated quite a lot of real estate on this blog during the the month of August last year on laying out charges against Dairon and his various incarnations (e.g. Brigham). August was basically my first full month of writing on this blog, and a significant portion of it dealt with that Being. Thus, that message - the extended finger moving to cover up a pretended star, if you will - came out of me fairly quickly, at a time when I wanted to move on to happier and/ or more interesting topics to think about, but felt that we needed to at least get a framework out and some ideas across on how to approach and view that Being.
Anyway, riddle solved, I think, with respect to the symbols and intent of that dream, and I can move on.
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