In a post a couple days ago I mentioned I've had two dreams regarding Ungoliant in the last week or so. I didn't anticipate writing about them at all, but I think a few things clicked this morning regarding what I was seeing, so I think I will get that down here and see how it looks.
The first dream involved actually running away/ hiding from Ungoliant (or, at that point, a large, unnamed black spider), while the second involved addressing her directly (and hearing her own "voice"), and was pretty disturbing. I will summarize both below, and then I will conclude with some thoughts about what I think was going on.
Ungoliant's Chase
In the first dream, I was in a desert landscape and was in the process of travelling to a destination (at least that was my impression). I suddenly became aware of a large spider that was tracking/ chasing me. The desert landscape was full of boulders, outcroppings, and little rock formations. I was able to hide at the base of rock formation that was something like a very small cliff, and tucked myself in the shadows. I had barely hidden myself when above me the spider appeared at the top of the boulder/ cliff, and scanned the horizon looking for me. In seeing it now, I could tell that it was both extremely large and very black.
Since it couldn't see me, but also assumed I wasn't far away, the spider seemed to have made the choice to hide and lie in wait for me to come back out. Unfortunately for me, it chose the same boulder I was hiding behind to also hide and wait. It went around the backside of the rock in order to come down the other side and get to my hiding spot. In approaching around the corner, however, it backed up to get to my position. Meaning. it started coming directly toward where I was hiding, but it was looking directly away from me as it was backing up to where I was. In order to hide itself sufficiently behind the corner, it had to back up all the way to where I was lying, and its large abdomen was now pressing against me. It was not a fun sensation. I refused to move, however, because if I made any movement at all, I was convinced the spider would become aware of my presence directly behind it.
So, that is how we were set up: The spider was hiding behind a rock waiting for me to come out, and I was hiding directly behind it (literally touching its skin), unable to move or go anywhere. It was in this position that I woke up.
The Voice of Ungoliant
That first dream wasn't too bad, in that other than experiencing that feeling of being chased, and also the sensation of the spider's body against my own, it didn't feel very disconcerting. In fact, I think some of it was meant to feel almost comical, like "what bad luck!".
The second dream, however, had a different feel to it, or at least was a bit more disorienting. It wasn't really until early this morning that I was able to at least hazard a guess as to its meaning, and how it tied to the first dream.
In the dream, I was standing outside my house at night and it was completely dark outside.
I am not sure how it started, but I began to have a direct conversation with a Being that I named directly as Ungoliant. The Being felt everywhere and nowhere, and in hindsight I associate its presence with the darkness that was surrounding me outside of of my house. I even saw Ungoliant's name spelled out visually very clearly for me to see, but spelled with the additional "e" and is associated umlaut - like this: Ungoliantë.
I cannot remember everything I said to her, but during the first part of our conversation she would respond with what I understood to be her own 'voice'. The voice was not like anything I had ever heard before, and it did not form into sounds like anything I would have understood to be 'words'. It was like hornets (loud buzzing), and wind, and just this jumble of incronguent sounds that build on each other. It was disconcerting to hear.
At the peak of the dream, I said "Ungoliant, I am sorry for what I had to do to your daughter". In saying this, I don't think I meant 'sorry' as in I was remorseful or that I wouldn't do whatever it is that I had done again, but more that I was sorry that her daughter had put herself in a position that I had to do something to her. It also seemed like I was giving her a reminder - that I had, in fact, done something to her daughter.
In making this reference, Ungoliant's voice swelled to an almost overwhelming pitch, that came across as both evil and full of anger. It wasn't even just a volume thing, but just how the the intensity of the sounds came together. Again, hard to describe, but I did not like it at all.
As the dream began to end, Ungoliant's voice subsided, and I looked down at my hand. I was holding what appeared to be a curious looking microphone, and I guessed that I had been speaking to this Being through it. The microphone, however, appeared to be made out of 'cells', like something of a round honeycomb or even a wasp nest or something like that. As I was in the process of looking at this strange thing, I woke up.
What to make of it all
I wrote a longer draft of this section, and it seemed, well, long, with my usual rambling, so I am going to make this short and sweet.
As of this morning, I believe the Being who I saw both of these dreams through the perspective of was none other than Eowyn-Ilmare-Deseret (Izilba from "Words of the Faithful").
"Ungoliant's daughter" that is referenced is a Demon-Vampire named Thuringwethil. In Doug's book, Words of the Faithful recounts not only Eowyn-Izilba's confrontation with Thuringwethil herself, but also with witches who called Thuringwethil their mother. Izilba would defeat all of them in separate engagements.
Thuringwethil's name means "Woman of Secret Shadow", and in this name we can make a direct inference to her connection with Ungoliant, whose name can mean "Gloomweaver" and herself creates shadow and unlight. My dream, and that phrase, actually serves to make the relationship between those Beings even more explicit, and likely gives us insight that we are dealing with Demons who assume the shapes they desire us to see them as. For Thuringwethil, it was a vampire, and for Ungoliant, it is a large spider, but they both effectively do the same thing in spreading darkness, as well as being vampires (although a spider in concept, Ungoliant's actions, particularly in her destruction of the Two Trees, was one of Vampirism).
Vampires have come up before here on my blog as I have discussed Ungoliant specifically, and they have come up in other places in more general discussions. For example, in William Tychonievich's recent post "Red chameleons, manticores, and vampires", he spends a considerable chunk of that post on Vampires.
Anyway, it was to these defeats, specifically of Thuringwethil, that Eowyn is making reference to in her discussion with Ungoliant, I believe. She is reminding her that she defeated her daughter, and this should probably be viewed as a direct threat and reminder to Ungoliant that her days are also numbered. This is why there would have been such a 'violent' response to Eowyn's words.
The fact that I was standing outside of my home, at night, surrounded by darkness is probably meant to signify the situation Eowyn is in. She is at her home (Tirion has been my guess, as articulated in past posts) but it is night there, and surrounded by darkness - thanks to Ungoliant. Eowyn is now, at whatever time the dream was meant to represent, issuing a direct statement and perhaps warning to Ungoliant. I am not sure, actually, as to the nature of why the discussion is happening or the ultimate intent, but that is my best guess.
As to the first dream, the journey through the desert and chase by Ungoliant, my thought is that this was Eowyn's journey either away from or to her home - meaning, travelling through enemy territory (Ungoliant's dominion over the Many Waters - the desert almost a poetic statement about the true state of those Waters).
That is what I have for today, anyway. I just wanted to get that down. I have some other thoughts I also wanted to get down that should be more uplifting than Vampires, but I have a bit more 'homework' that I am going to try and get to yet tonight before I writing anything on them later.
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